When I Leave | EXO

(15) What was going to happen on Friday?

Amazing... Just glorious...

The thoughts of last night kept buzzing in my head. Even the thought of dating Tao, or Hajae being with Kris, it just sent me into hysterics. Things could've went very differently last night. For instance, I would probably be sharing a bed with Tao in case of paparazzi, instead of cringing at the thought of it.

I wanted my head to go elsewhere. I wanted to possibly daydream about Lay or even relax and watch TV with the boys that were here already, but I was in my room, staring at the ceiling, imagining what would happen if Hajae and I didn't think fast. I could've had much better topics on my mind, but I couldn't stop being so astounded by the previous night's events.

Before they showed up, though, Lay and I were talking about our feelings for each other. No one really stated whether we liked each other or not, but I could tell he had something for me, and he surely knew I felt at least the tiniest bit of liking for him. I was Chen biased, but Lay won me over in real life instead, no offense to Chen.

It never occurred to me about how long I lived in denial. I wouldn't confess to the small details. For example, I always secretly strained to make him notice me, calling him dumb nicknames and telling him I couldn't care less about him. It was all some sort of performance so he'd maybe try to talk to me about my 'dislike' for him. He didn't know until yesterday that it was all a sham, some act I put on to get him more interested in me.

Yes, I've admitted to having feelings for Lay, and I've given up on even trying to block them out. But what's the big deal about that? Why did I try to hide my feelings for him so long?

I must've thought that Hajae would be mad, because she shipped me with everyone except for Yixing. Being aware of that forced me to believe I didn't like him at all, which led to me burying all my thoughts of him in the back of my brain. It wasn't her fault though. In fact, it was a good thing, because then all those feelings came at once and I can fully understand why I feel what I feel.

Lay is funny. He's hilarious in his own stupid, special way. He's also adorable when he no idea what's happening, and then he's just staring at the wall for a while. On top of those specifics, he has talent, and he's a sweetheart. There's nothing that could throw me off with him. I like everything about him, down to his voice and the way his eyes transform into tiny slits when he's trying to figure things out.

"Jin, we're playing karaoke! Wanna come rap for us?" I heard a knock on my door and the familiar voice of D.O shouting in to me.

"Actually, I'm going to stay in here a little while, if that's okay." I murmured loud enough for him to comprehend, "Come in if you want."

He opened the door and slid inside with a dazed look on his face. His eyes were blood shot, with unsual bags under them, and an appearance, as if he'd fall to the floor before he got to my side.

"Kyungsoo oppa! Are you okay?" I gaped at him, stunned by his complete and full worn-out expression.

He nodded, but then stopped and dipped his head so it was hanging down, with his usually round eyes now closed. He was basically asleep sitting right in front of me.

"D.O, are you okay?" I repeated, staring at him with concern.

He looked up at me and bobbed his head as if he was perfectly fine, but I knew it was a lie. Instead of blowing it off, I scooted next to him and brought his face higher so I could examine if he was hurt. I saw nothing, except for his deluded eyes and pale complexion.

"I didn't really sleep, Hyojin. I was just thinking about everything from last night. I was just kind of imagining what would happen if Tao and Kris got kicked out of Exo and if you guys got hate for being close with us. I just kind of stared at the ceiling all night, if you know what I mean."