Unexpected // Harry

(23)A Moment of Impact

My eyes grew wide, and my palms felt suddenly clammy. Harry was leaving, and yet he hadn't dare to tell me? His own,

what was I, to him and to other people? Just another person that he'll get over, I bet. One of his girlfriends, that he doesn't tell anything to. Even the words I thought it my head felt sick, I knew that wasn't true. Unless Harry was a professional actor acclaimed to set me up on live TV, but that didn't settle well with me either.

"One moment," I said quietly, turning around to see his expressionless face, leaning against the wall as he looked towards me.

"Harry... you're leaving?" I breathed out, feeling betrayed almost by his lying. His jaw hardened, but his eyes looked down in what seemed like shame, guilt.

He didn't say anything, instead let the silence fill our surroundings. He was leaving, he wasn't here to stay. No matter how many times I felt perfect, I should have known it would crumble. Leaving on tour, for how many months? A year? A few months? Many months?

I squeezed my eyes shut, picking the phone to my ear again and waiting a second or two to figure out what to say.

"He's right here." I mumbled, before quickly turning around and shoving the phone into his hands slowly, retracting my hand back shakily and going upstairs silently, not bearing to listen to the conversation or the ache in my heart. I couldn't imagine life without him now, it also seemed unreal.

My hands fumbled with the door knob, before I hastily opened the door to see our room in a perfect state. The covers were soothing, but would never be as comforting as his arms. What would I do, what I would be able to do.

I cuddled the pillow close to me, feeling the tears streak my cheeks. I was so emotional, but I couldn't help it. I've become too attached, too effected by him. He's already been gone for a whole month, and he has to go again. Of course his management would want him away from me, I'm the one thing holding him back from his career, his one thing in life he wants.

Again, I shouldn't be here. Harry doesn't deserve this, to be tied back to children that aren't his and a girl who isn't worth his time. Girls loathing after him, screaming his name and people wanting to know what he's doing every second and the popularity. Who wouldn't want that, who wouldn't want to travel the world with sold out concerts? Harry has the power to do that, I shouldn't even be here.

The tears don't stop, either.

A soft knock on the door, and the sound of it being unlocked is what I hear, but I don't move an inch to give him any reaction.

"Sophie, can we.. talk?" Harry's hands find themselves across my waist, but I don't move them or swat them away. If I can do something, I'll do nothing.

"Please.. I'm an idiot, I'm stupid. I should have told you, and I deserve absolute shit. I would have told you, I really would have but I knew you wouldn't be happy. You were so, so happy.." He sighs, and I turne ever so slightly only to find his eyes watery, looking down at the ruffled covers and his face distraught.

"I-I know, that I'll never deserve you. And I get it if you hate me and want -" he stopped, choking back some words that he didn't look like he wanted to say. "If y-you want to end this. If it's too much, for you."

I turned fully over, feeling astonished at his words. He was idiotic, or stupid and he didn't deserve shit.

"Harry, I do love you. You're not, not what you said." I choked out in my muffled voice, finding the tears that were welling in my eyes continue. He looked up, looking like heaven as always with his hopeless face. I felt terrible, that I could ever make someone so angelic be so.. unlike themselves.