Nadine's Stuck.

TWENTY-FIVE

Nadine's POV

I haven't looked at Akiko today. Brunch at Dalia's Diner is awkward. The boys let us get our own table while they hang out at another, only a few feet away from ours.

I keep my eyes focused on my empty plate; Elana keeps hers on Akiko; and Akiko keeps hers on Riley.

"Today's the party," Elana breaks the silence but thickens the tensions with her words. They're open but clearly directed towards Akiko.

Aki glances at her. "Yeah. It is."

"Are you going with anyone?"

"No. Are you going with whatshisface?"

Elana scowls. "Weston. Weston Myers. And no. I'm not going with him. He said no."

Akiko snorts. "Wonder why."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

She twists in her chair to fully face Elana, eyes narrowed into hers. "Figure it out yourself. Or don't. I know understanding basic concepts is really hard for you. But don't worry, my lesbianic brain can help you figure this one out." She slows her voice, making it higher, as if she's talking to a little kid; "You're an annoying, loud bitch that no one actually likes, and only tolerates because you became friends with the right people in elementary school."

Elana clenches her jaw. "What the hell does that even mean? And you're the bitch, Aki. I said I didn't mind you being, y'know, gay."

"You obviously fuckin' mind it somehow."

"No, it's, like, cute n' stuff."

"Cute?"

"Yeah, we could, like, make out or whatever at parties. That's super hot. Dawn told me guys dig that shit."

"I don't give a fuck about what guys dig, Lana!" Aki stands from her chair, so Elana mirrors her movements and does the same. I hug my knees tighter.

"Stop fighting," I murmur. This was not how my last day was supposed to go. Akiko and Elana aren't supposed to be really fighting. They're just pretending. They're bantering. They have to be. 

Akiko's not supposed to know one of my top three biggest secrets.

Akiko. Out of all people, I told AKIKO!

Akiko looks down at me curled up in the wooden chair, and her expression softens. "Sorry, Nadia." Her sympathy isn't long-lasting as she directs her attention back to Elana, whose mouth is hanging wide open.

"Did she just--"

They start arguing again, but I try my best to drown them out by repeating the lyrics to one of my favorite songs in my head.

Shadow, shadow, what a show
Every other step, there's a crosseyed crow
Half return, half return
Minneapolis soft white snow
35 bridge, hometown
Half return, half return

Standing in the yard, dressed like a kid
The house is white, and the lawn is dead
The lawn is dead, the lawn is dead

Illinois toll road, Indiana plain
Roll the windows down, shoot at the change

Half return, half---

"What's going on?" Cade asks. I lift my head from my knees. The song made me sadder.

"Akiko's being an utter bitch! She's mad because I said I was fine about her being gay, and, I mean, how can you even be mad about that!?" 

"I'm not mad about that! And you're not fine with it! You're being all weird."