Nadine's Stuck.

TWENTY-NINE

Caden's POV

Bitter liquid slides down my throat, a warmth I've almost managed to forget spreading through my chest. 

Concerns of Nadia, Riley, and everything in between I hoped to dissolve with the growing fuzz linger.

82 days sober down the drain.

"You're not 'posed to drink." Kai leans against the brick wall we're both sitting behind, cigarette between his index and middle finger. That, the street lights, and the moon are the only things lighting the caliginous atmosphere.

"You're supposed to be quitting smoking. Guess we're both breaking our word." I roll my eyes, but don't really mean my annoyance. Kai is the only person who's never judged for this shit. He doesn't have the radiating disapproval or irritation Noah has.

He shrugs. "Guess so."

 A sigh escapes me as I look up at the sky, which I once remembered to be stelliferous. Now it's vacant - uninhabited. "Laurie's obfuscating things. I'm a good person?" Somehow that came out as more than a question than the statement I meant it to be. "I'm helping Nadine."

He slaps his unoccupied hand on my shoulder. "I know. But I don't know what obfuscating means at fuckin' all. Failed English twice, 'member?"

A smile threatens to pass my lips. How could I not?

Mom says Kai was the first member of the wrong crowd she so evidently believes I fell into. The only reason she tolerates me hanging out with him despite his lack of grades is our dads' friendship. They have been close friends since they were in college. Kai and I were meant to be friends from the beginning.

"It means to obscure."

He hums in understanding. "She is. Just get your mom to talk to her or the principal. Your parents have the school in a fuckin' choke hold, man."

"I don't think that's gonna work this time. And I don't want to run to my parents every time something goes wrong." I lift my alcohol can from beside me and take a large gulp. The acridity doesn't bother me as much as it should.

He shrugs again, a gesture of agree-to-disagree. A long silence follows before the urge to blurt gases me.

"Do you think it's my fault?"

"What is?"

"Y'know...That Nadine was assaulted by Riley. Akiko told me it happened before, too. How could I have not noticed? She's under my care, Kai. My care. I should have known - I should have looked harder. Seen better. Now Akiko's blaming herself, but it wasn't her fault. It was mine. And Nadine won't talk to anyone." I take in a much-needed breath. "Laurie's going to take her away. How am I supposed to fix that when she's not going to be with me?"

Smoke blows from his mouth. He drops the cancerstick and grinds it between the pavement and his shoe until it dulls. "Ya' can't fix anyone, Caden. I don't know why you're so obsessed with that idea." He searches for words for a moment. It'd be an understatement to say he's never been the best at comforting. "Imagine yourself as someone else. Say, I was in this situation. Elana was assaulted by Riley. Would you say it was my fault?"

I shake my head. Take another sip.

"Exactly. So quit blamin' yourself."

"Riley," I breathe, for some reason almost laughing. "A rapist. He's our friend and we didn't know that. Did he ever say anything off?"

"He was our friend. And I don't think he did. He seemed pretty normal to me and everyone else. He's the most popular guy in the school. Elana and her friends would fuckin' bow before him. No one would do that to a rapist."

I change the topic, not wanting to stay on that one any longer. Processing it seemed too arduous. "Speaking of Elana, are you going to be her Senior next semester?"

"Yeah. Figured not switching Freshmen would just be easier. She's not that bad when she's not with her friends."

"Is Noah staying with Akiko?"

"Dunno. He's not answering my texts. I assume, even though he's pissed. Unless Akiko fills out the questionnaire in a way that makes him look bad."

My brows knit together. "Questionnaire?"

"Yeah. Rooming Freshmen have to fill out to make sure the system's good 'er whatever. Thought you knew?"

My grip around the can tightens, only managing a simple "No." What did Nadia put on there? Would I look good? Bad? Could it save Nadine's chance of being my Freshman?

I try not to think about it, drinking more.

82 days is barely anything. In rehab, it was 60, plus the 74 more days sober I spent out of it. Relapsing after 134 days was simultaneously the hardest and easiest decision I had ever made.

Relapsing.

My mind flashes the memory of Nadia's wrists.

Could she be relapsing right now? She's with Akiko - I let them go because it was the first time Nadia voluntarily went out in weeks - surely she wouldn't with Akiko with her.

My own addiction and experience with addicts beat the thought. We'd do anything for a fix.

She did it while I was living with her in a dorm; there's no doubt she'd find a way while she's with Akiko.

Unless I was the one who triggered her.

I shake my head, attempting to push away the evasive thoughts. I drink more.

Still can't get rid of them.

Drink more, flipping the can upside down to make sure I get every last drop. I roll it over to the one other empty can before cracking open another.

I chug that one plus one more. And half of another one. It still doesn't go away, so I pull my phone from my pocket and click on Akiko's contact. 

CADE: Make sure you take care of Nadia.

Shoving my phone in my pocket, I only now notice the way Kai's looking at me. "Let's go back to the dorms," he says, eyes flickering from me to the group of cans a not-so-far distant away from me.

. . .

The front door of the dorm swings open. Akiko's silhouette fills the doorway. "What the fuck does 'mskr syre yu tske carw id Nasia' mean?" She snorts, walking closer to my desk after shutting the door.

"What?" I groan slightly, blinking to try and focus my eyes on one of the many echoing Akikos. 

Oh. My text.

"Make sure you take care of Nadia," I decode my unintelligible message, talking slowly and paying heavy attention to the words so I don't slur. My eyes widen. "Where is Nadia? She's supposed to be with you."

"She's asleep. Noah's with her." Her hand waves in front of my face. "Are you okay?  You're slurring your words." Then, she grins, "You're drunk? I thought you didn't drink. Have anything for me?" She glances around my desk, which earns a glare from me. She frowns, deadpanning. "It was a joke."

"Don't joke about that."

Her eyes roll. "Whatever. I'll let you do whatever. Good luck with that hangover in the morning." With that, she strolls back over to the door, grabbing Zara from Nadia's bed before her departure.

. . .

Nadine's Stuck. One-Year Special Survey! [NSOYSS]
- The NSOYSS is officially closed.

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[A rare Cade POV?! Did you guys like it? I had kind of a hard time getting into the right voice for him (also I'm very tired, so sorry if there are spelling mistakes) ;; Please tell me what you think of this chapter and Caden's relapse!

Sorry, I didn't update sooner this week - I had a busy week! I also won't be able to post this weekend or the following week, sorry!

I love you all more than you'll ever know! Thank you for reading, and don't forget to eat good, stay very happy, and stay super duper healthy! Upvotes and comments are forever appreciated!^^]

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Word Count: 1272!