Nadine's Stuck.

TWENTY-SEVEN

Nadine's POV

"Girl, you look good!" Akiko yells over the music, wrapping her arms around my torso. She gives me a tight squeeze before releasing. The living room lights are off, leaving the only light falling over her makeup-clad face the harsh LEDs set to purple from the corners of the room, and the moonlight shining through the large windows on the front wall.

She went back to her and Noah's dorm a little while after we both regressed to get ready for the party. I don't feel the usual wave of guilt or stupidity that drowns me after letting myself slip into little space. One last time with two last friends wasn't so bad.

The dress Elana chose for me for the party is simple. Pink; not too formal, yet not too casual. I paired it with the Converse Cade got me and white gloves that land at my elbows, concealing the fleshy pink and white lines that litter my forearms.

"Thanks," I mumble, flushing slightly. I didn't want to look good. Looking good at a party - at Riley's party - felt like a practical death wish.

I've successfully evaded him for the whole time I've been at his party. Now all I have to do is find Cade - which shouldn't be too hard - and make sure he sees me before I leave so he won't go looking for me.

Loud music by artists I don't recognise blasts through the speakers, the floor vibrating with screams and jumps. Bodies feel too close and suffocating.

"Do you know where Cade is?" My throat is tight and doesn't allow me to speak more than a whisper. 

Akiko crouches down so her ear is inches away from my mouth. "What'd you say? You've gotta speak up!"

I swallow hard, mustering everything I have in me to push past the pain in my throat to talk louder. My words fall directly into the canal of her ear.  "Do you know where Cade is?"

Akiko thinks for a moment, squinting her eyes as she looks up before nodding. "I think I saw him in the kitchen with Kai, Noah, Elana, and ばかやろう."

"What's ばかやろう?"

"Riley."

"Oh." A guy in a blue button-up bumps into me, pausing my body's reaction to Riley's name. I stumble back, hitting another guy's form. 

The second guy remains still, putting his hands on my shoulders to steady me. He turns me around, allowing me to see him. "You okay?"

I attempt to shake his hands off my shoulders, but his hold doesn't falter. Looking down at me, his expression isn't something I read as fully concerned. "I'm good." 

"You've gotta stay safe during these kinds of parties, ya'know?" He searches my face, struggling to meet my eyes.

I nod. "Totally." An awkward pause passes between us. I clear my throat, trying to prevent it from closing any further. "I have to get to my friends."

He still doesn't let go. "Do you want me to walk you to them?"

I shake my head, teeth biting down on my bottom lip hard.

"Are you sure? Crazy things happen at parties." He inhales, eyes flickering over the crowds of people. "Crazy things I wouldn't want a girl like you to experience."

Tears prick my eyes, words unable to tumble from my mouth. Please leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone.

"Hey now, I didn't mean to scare you. Needa drink to calm 'em nerves?"

I shake my head. 

"Are you sure? I--"

Akiko steps between us. She picks the guy's hands off my shoulder, holding them like a used napkin. She cocks her head towards me and flashes a look of utter disgust before turning back to face the guy. "She said she's good, asshole." She lets go, his hands slapping against the side of his thighs.