~Male crush x male reader~ BOOK ONE!!!

Fallen Angel (angst + fluff)

CW: Entire story is in a universe where Christianity is real (story literally takes place in one of the rings of hell-), blatant homophobia.

Y/N POV:

I button the top button of my shirt, looking at myself at multiple angles in from the mirror to make sure the scars are well-hidden like I typically keep them. Once I'm satisfied with the coverage, I shove my everyday sweat rag into one of the back pockets of my pants and begrudgingly slip my shoes on. I rub one of my temples with a small groan, a futile attempt at easing my headache. 

I don't know why I even try anymore. It's not like I'm going to get the break I need to recover. Not here, at least.

I force my aching limbs to move me to the front door of my rundown apartment, my eyes locked on the ground to avoid the heavy stares of the others I know will be nearby. I head straight to my car, unsure if it'll even work but still somewhat hoping it will. As I press the button on my key fob, held together by old, smuggled duct tape and my broken dreams, I realize that my car, once again, doesn't respond at all. Just to be certain, I press the unlock button again, only for my suspicions to be confirmed.

Yeah, today isn't a working day. Again.

I cram my key fob in one of my front pockets,  grumbling under my breath and reluctantly begin tramping in the direction of the old subway station. In the process, though, I end up bumping shoulders with one of the biggest, most threatening-looking demons I've seen all week.

Not again.

"Watch your step, asshole."

I don't say anything in reply and, instead, hurriedly veer out of his way, knowing that anything I might say will likely set him off further. My eyes scan the ground for my usual signs that I'm headed in the correct direction, my hands staying at my sides and clenched in fists in case I need to defend myself again. 

Before I know it, I'm at the front entrance to the only subway station in this ring of Hell. When the nearest door opens, I take a small, silent breath and step up onto the subway. As I take a cautious glance around, I notice that there's, of course, no seats left on any of the benches.

Well, I'll have to stand again, I guess.

I find the nearest pole and hold onto it, immediately looking down at the ground again and trying to make myself as small as possible to stay out of people's way. Due to how many people need to get to their work at this time of day, though, my attempt at making myself smaller became pointless as the rest of the huge group crowds around me & the other passengers. 

Magnificent.

Because of the way I'm looking at the ground, I don't end up noticing a fairly large man, likely a sinner of some sort, standing directly beside me. Someone else shoves him aside and, consequently, pushes him into me. The man ends up raising his arm to catch his fall using the pole I'm holding onto. He misses the pole completely, falling on top of me instead. Unluckily enough, I don't have time to catch myself, so I end up falling onto a poor woman sitting on one of the benches. 

"Oh my- I'm so sorry, ma'am. I really didn't mean to fall on top of you."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever, kid. Just quit apologizing to me and leave me alone. Weirdo..."

I slowly stand back up with a pained groan, dusting myself off. I grasp the pole again, tightening my grip a little as my eyes screw closed due to yet another dizzy spell. 

I hate this sh-

"Woah, what's going on out there?!"

I hear the outburst from one of the other passengers and blink my eyes open, my eyes going wide and my eyebrows furrowing from confusion as the subway unexpectedly stops.