It Started with a Selfie [larry stylinson a.u.]

61.0

Title: "The One Where Karma Starts With A C."

Scene 99: Interior / Niall's Yale Apartment / Day

Niall is packing his luggage, being very careful with the way he folds and arranges his clothes inside of it. He has everything organized by colors and, besides not looking excited at all, he is chanting a funny song while doing it.

NIALL: (singing) "If you don't want to go to Cali, clap your hands." (He claps three times) "If you don't want to go to Cali, clap your hands." (He claps three times again) "If you don't wan to... spend your summer... surrounded by dumb people, clap your hands." (He claps thrice one last time)

He seems to be ready to close the suitcase but then he remembers something that makes him walk to his closet. He types a combination into the small safe box and opens it.

NIALL: "My precious."

He grabs the two cans of pepper spray and puts them inside of his luggage.

NIALL: "And now I'm ready." (sighs) "Oh wait, almost forgot."

He bends to his knees, rests his elbows on the bed, clasps his hands together and closes his eyes.

NIALL: "Dear Newton, I beg you not to let the CalHellfornian ignorance get me and also, please, feed my brains with the necessary intellectual strength to protect my neurons from all the nonsense."

Meanwhile in the living room, Rosario enters the apartment.

ROSARIO: (celebrating) "Cheeseface left! Yes!"

Niall continues with his prayer in his bedroom.

NIALL: "Oh Glorious and Almighty Einstein, predecessor of all wisdom, shall thee illuminate my path down the hells of the southwest. And, last but not least, Galileo, father of modern physics, may you have mercy on my intelligence."

Rosario's voice from the living room interrupts his prayer.

ROSARIO: (singing) "Bailando, bailando..."

NIALL: (frowning, trying to concentrate) "I, in return, compromise to make the world respect and live under the laws of your legacy-"

ROSARIO: (singing louder) "Tu cuerpo y el mío llenando el vacío, subiendo y bajando."

NIALL: (still trying to focus on his prayer) "That'd been said-"

ROSARIO: (singing even louder, very into character) "Bailando, bailando... ese fuego por dentro me está enloqueciendo, me va saturando."

Niall walks out of his bedroom to find Rosario enthusiastically dancing with the broom on her hands.

ROSARIO: (carried away) "Bailando, bailando..."

NIALL: (amused) "Rosario!"

ROSARIO: (mumbling) "Oh no, the albino is here."

NIALL: (curious, excited) "Is that a Spanish folk song?"

ROSARIO: (emotionless) "It's Enrique Iglesias."

NIALL: "Excuse me, what?"

ROSARIO: "Never mind." (sighs) "Listen."

Rosario walks to the table and grabs a small box wrapped in red ribboned paper.

NIALL: (excited) "What's that?"

ROSARIO: "Home made cookies."

NIALL: (excited, happy) "Oh Rosario, you shouldn't have."