Listen To Your Heart (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter Ten | Time

Baekhyun always thought of himself as someone who made the right decisions. If there was a time in high school when someone offered him drugs or alcohol, he would proudly say no because he knew it was wrong. Whenever someone would try to pressure him into sex, he would say no because it didn't feel right. All of his life thus far, he thought that he was one of the few people in the world that could make good decisions. But ever since Park Chanyeol came into his life, he wasn't so sure about that.

Ever since their split two years ago, all Baekhyun wanted was to make amends with him so that they could pick up right where they left off and move on like none of it had ever happened. People called him crazy for that because they firmly believed in the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater," but Baekhyun knew for a fact that Chanyeol wasn't a cheater, at least not in the emotional sense. It was just one night that he spend with someone else and he felt bad about it, Baekhyun could see that he did. All he wanted was to stop going around in circles with Chanyeol like a dog chasing its tail. That wasn't too much to ask for, he thought, so why couldn't he seem to make it happen?

Was it because Chanyeol wasn't trying hard enough to win him back or was Baekhyun just being too stubborn? Baekhyun wanted to pile all the blame on Chanyeol for not being able to see that he wanted him back more than anything, but just when he thought that that was the solution, he began to think that maybe he wasn't making his feelings clear enough for Chanyeol to see. Maybe his plan of pushing him away was backfiring.

"Whose fault do you think it is?" Baekhyun asked Kyungsoo one day, deciding it would be nice to pay him a visit before he left for home the next day. "Who do you think is the one to blame for us being stuck in the same place?"

Honestly? Kyungsoo questioned with raised eyebrows, fixing him and Baekhyun some tea.

"Honestly." Baekhyun nodded.

Both of you, he deadpanned, his hand gestures taking Baekhyun by surprise.

"How can it both of us?" he signed, his eyes following Kyungsoo as he walked over with two steaming cups of tea.

Because you're both acting like two blind bats, Kyungsoo said, answering quickly before he sat. You are being too vague for Chanyeol to know how you feel, but he is being stupid and letting you push him away when he should be fighting for you. If you ask me, one of you needs to toughen up and just say what you really want, or else you'll never be able to move on with or without each other. Kyungsoo finished signing and took a tiny sip of his tea while Baekhyun picked at the handle of his cup.

"I do want to try and work it out with him," he admitted, his eyes still on the cup's smoothly painted handle. "I guess I just worry if he does, that's all. Like, if I push him away and he keeps coming back, I'll know that he wants to, but so far he hasn't so I guess I'm just starting to think that maybe he's really done with us. I mean, you know how many people he sleeps with on a regular basis."

But how many of them has he dated seriously? If he was really ready to move on from you, he would have started dating someone. He's clearly doing this as a way to cope with the fact that he only wants to be with someone he is convinced he can no longer have. Baekhyun fell silent and furrowed his eyebrows, the only sound being that of Kyungsoo sipping on his tea. He made a point, Baekhyun thought, and a good one at that. It was possible that both he and Chanyeol had been misreading each other's actions for the past two years.

"So," he said, his eyebrow still knitted together as he shifted in his chair, "d-do you think that I should talk to him again?"

That's the only way you'll be able to understand each other, Kyungsoo said, earning an understanding nod from Baekhyun. But I would wait until you come back from break. You guys just had a fight and you clearly need some time to think about all this, so go away for awhile and then come back and talk to him when you're ready. That way you won't have a repeat of last night.