Listen To Your Heart (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-One | Destiny

Destiny was something Jongin always liked to believe was real. The thought of things happening for a reason gave him hope that somehow he would get a happily ever after ending to his life like the ones in the storybooks his mom used to read to him and his sisters when they were little. Thinking that every good and bad thing that happened to him was destined to happen gave Jongin peace of mind that helped him fall asleep at night. And meeting Kyungsoo, he thought, was definitely an event that was destined to happen. 

But as the days without him dragged on and on, Jongin was starting to reevaluate his opinion of the concept called destiny. If he and Kyungsoo meeting was so meant to be, if Kyungsoo was the one he was supposed to spend the rest of his years with, why did they fall apart so easily? If he was really was his soul mate, why did their relationship crumble so easily?

Jongin found the only way that he was able to refrain himself from focusing on the fact that he was alone again was to spend even more time working and out of the house. He convinced Suho to give him more hours at the restaurant doing little odd end jobs that weren't technically his responsibility, and if there was ever a time Chanyeol needed off for some reason, Jongin was the first to volunteer to fill in for him. He took on more dance classes at the college and instead of having two classes in the afternoon, he had four. For the tons of other students who were dying to learn from the dancing machine himself, the abrupt opening was something like a miracle. But for Jongin, it was just another distraction.

Even with the extra responsibilities on his plate, Jongin still couldn't stop his mind from wandering to Kyungsoo at night when he fell asleep. For the first few weeks of Kyungsoo's absence, he would lie in bed at night and wonder if he ever crossed the other man's mind. Of course, he liked to think that Kyungsoo was longing for him just as much as, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't know if Kyungsoo was still convinced that leaving him behind was what was best for them, nor could he know if he regretted letting his mother come in between their relationship. And if there was one thing about being away from Kyungsoo that killed Jongin more than the way they left things, it was this state of not being able to know.

Back out of town and in the country, all of Jongin's wonders were Kyungsoo's living nightmares. The hurt expression on the younger's face when he told him that he was leaving and the tears of confusion and heartbreak in his eyes when Jongin told him to leave were burned into his mind. Kyungsoo felt as if he was trapped inside of an awful dream, a dream where Jongin hated him and he ended up all alone. But the worse part of it all to him was the state of knowing; knowing that he could have escaped the awful dream before it consumed him. A few words were all it would have taken to assure his happy future with Jongin, but at the same time, Kyungsoo didn't have the heart or mind to say them.

His mother wasn't much of a help when it came to his sadness. She had returned to being her usual controlling and cold self and this added in a hint of anger into Kyungsoo because it was what made him realize that all of this was another one of her twisted schemes to remain the tyrant of his life. When she was telling him to leave, she spoke in a soft, caring voice and it seemed to him that for once she actually was trying to do something good for him. But as soon as she came out with another victory, she started to speak down to him again and rarely ever made an attempt to console her son. All she would say was "it was for the best" or "he'll be much happier without you" like that was supposed to make him feel better. This realization made Kyungsoo come to be mad at and resent his mother even more, but he was more pissed at himself for letting her words get into his mind so easily.

In the midst of all the emotional tension between him and his mother, Kyungsoo miraculously managed to hide the phone that Jongin had gifted him on their first date from her. She probably searched his bags millions of times in order to completely fulfill her wish of keeping them from being in contact, but Kyungsoo was doing a fine job at that on his own. So many times he tried to gather up the courage to text Jongin and apologize for acting like a fool and breaking his heart, but with each time that he got closer and closer to pressing that send button, he would delete the message and turn his phone off completely. 

But one habit he could not seem to get out of was checking to see if Jongin tried to contact him. Regardless of what he happened to be doing at that moment, whenever he would look at the time and notice that Jongin would most likely be leaving work, he would unconsciously check to see if he had any messages from him. And for a moment, a small glimmer of hope sparked inside of his dying heart but soon put itself out when he remembered that they were no longer in the same place.

Sometimes when Kyungsoo was feeling especially lonesome for the younger male's touch, he would curl up in his bed and scroll through all the photos they took together. The ones they took from each and every date they went on and his personal favorites, the ones that he and Jongin took of each other when the other wasn't looking. A somber and faint smile would creep its way onto Kyungsoo's face whenever he would stare at a single picture for minutes on end, the memories of the day it was taken flooding back into his memory from a place far in the back of his mind. 

At the time, he pushed all the smaller memories they made to that place, trying to make room for others since he figured that they would have plenty of time to experience tons of other activities together. But now as Kyungsoo scrolled through the photos, he was beginning to wish that he had cherished those good times more instead of tossing them to the side because now that they were no longer together, he was starting to think that they wouldn't have as much time as he had hoped.

A/N

A boring, sad, depressing filler. I had to give you guys a sort of update on their feelings before I proceeded on with their reunion.

My apologies for a later update, but I had to do some last minute school preparations because school starts in like two days :(

Anyway, thank you for reading and please leave a like and a comment before you go! I will be back tomorrow! <3