Listen To Your Heart (A KaiSoo Fanfic)

Chapter Thirty-Three | Trials

Kyungsoo began to like the sound of his own voice. He was now taking speech lessons with the therapist Dr. Yang had hired for two hours four times a week and he found that he didn't sound as stupid as his mind was telling him he did. He got along well with the therapist who preferred to be called Xiumin over his full name Minseok. 

Xiumin was a very well-mannered and polite young man in his mid-twenties just like Dr. Yang said he was and he treated Kyungsoo with the utmost patience and respect just like Dr. Yang said he would. With his help, Kyungsoo learned how to pronounce everyday words to the best of his ability through a series of flashcards and other helpful resources, but the flashcards were Kyungsoo's personal favorite. Especially at the beginning of his therapy, Xiumin would only flip to the next card until he pronounced the word printed in bold black ink as well as he possibly could, giving him plenty of time to respond. And Kyungsoo appreciated that. Xiumin, he thought, made learning how to speak easy and he believed that maybe reaching his goal wouldn't be so hard after all.

But that was in the beginning.

Jongin noticed the change in Kyungsoo's spirit after the therapy lessons started to increase in difficulty. Instead of having him repeat back single words, after a month passed, Xiumin was having Kyungsoo read entire paragraphs aloud and whenever they went out in the town for whatever reason, he would point to a sign and tell him to read it. And boy did Kyungsoo hate that. It was different, he thought, reading and speaking in the comfort of his own home than in public. At least when he was talking at home, no one could judge him or point or stare at him for the still awkward tone in his voice. 

Out in the open world, though, talking amongst a crowd of people who had known how to speak since they were young was something that he wasn't ready for. Even if he couldn't catch any of the weird looks people gave him, Kyungsoo knew they thought poorly of him. A twenty-three-year-old who can't talk properly, no one wanted to associate with that kind of person; it would be even more awkward than it would be if they had to include a deaf person into their hearing conversation. And as more time went on, Kyungsoo was starting to wish that he couldn't hear anymore. He was starting to think he was foolish to think being able to hear would make people treat him any differently than they had before.

Jongin could no longer stand to see him in such a foul and depressed mood; all of their dreams had come true and he should be happy, he thought. So, he decided to confront Xiumin just to see if this sudden change in Kyungsoo was partially the effect of his doings; if it was, he thought, he was definitely out of the picture. 

"I don't know what happened to him, Jongin," Xiumin had answered innocently, shrugging his shoulders. "He seemed so happy and confident in the beginning and then all of a sudden he doesn't want to try anymore."

Jongin sighed, running a hand of fingers through his dark brown hair. "Well, do you think you pushed him too much or put too much on him too fast?" he asked, being watchful of his tone so that he wouldn't offend Xiumin.

"I try not to," Xiumin said as he stood up from picking up the cards that he used in his earlier session with their conversation's subject, "but maybe I did and didn't notice. It's like as soon as I started to make him apply what he's already accomplished to real life, he just closed up and stopped trying. I even tried giving him a few days off to let it sink in, but when I came back he was still in this funk. I just wish I knew what was going on inside of his mind that made him change so abruptly."

"Don't worry, so do I," Jongin said, pushing back a stray hair that was hanging over his forehead. At that moment, Kyungsoo opened the bathroom door and quietly stepped out, so quietly that Jongin and Xiumin didn't even hear him.

And because of that silence, they continued conversing while Kyungsoo listened.

"Was he like this before?" questioned Xiumin as he packed away his material in the black bag he usually brought with him.