Hell Triplet's (Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel)

Hell Shorts: Cultist Extravaganza

[Saw the newest short and realized that Hound wouldn't fit in it, so I decided to play around with the cult, enjoy]

[It starts with Hound arriving at the I.M.P office. He is listening to music, but as soon as he enters, he notices that everyone is already expecting him. He takes off his earbuds.]

Hound: Oh, hey guys, so are we finally doing Blitzo's intervention on his weird ass obsession with horses?

Blitzo: Fuck you. This is about you and your groupies.

Hound: Groupies?

[Moxxie and Millie open the curtains, and it's revealed that outside of the building, dozens of tents and temporary homes are littering the street, these being Crimson Knight Cultists; there are several posters with the words "Hail the Crimson Knight" and "Kill all Exorcists."]

Hound: Oh, them...

Moxxie: Hound, this is spiraling out of control. They have been staying there for the last three weeks! You have to do something.

Hound: Oh, relax, guys, they are harmless.

[Everyone looks at Hound dumbfounded.]

Hound: What?

Moxxie: Harmless? They scare away the customers.

[Cut to a flashback, a potential nervous client tries to enter the building; however, he is immediately surrounded by cultists holding pamphlets.]

Cultist: Would you like to know about our lord and savior, the Crimson Knight?

[The client runs away, terrified, back to the present.]

Millie: They are fucking creepy.

[It cuts to Millie walking with a cup of coffee by a window, when something outside catches her eye. There's a giant Ephygy of the Crimson Knight and smaller ones of Exorcists, the cultist set the Exorcists on fire as they chant and do a weird dance. Millie crept out closes the curtain.]

Stolas: They are extremely rude.

[Stolas arrives at the floor where the office is, but is surprised that the hallway is full of cultists. He does his best to avoid them. One cultist is blocking the door. ]

Stolas: Excuse me, unless you plan to hire IMP services, I suggest you leave.

Cultist: Oh fuck off, bird. Why don't you go fuck that Imp toy of yours?

[The Cultist throws water at Stolas, ruining his sweater. Back to the present.]

Blitzo: They park in my fucking spot!

[Blitzo is trying to park the van; most of the parking is full of cultists, however. As soon as Blitzo moves, a Cultist complains.]

Cultist: Watch where you are going, man!

Blitzo: I'm trying to park in my fucking parking spot, fuckface!

[Back to the present.]

Loona: And did you forget what happened on our last date?

[Last flashback starts; it's a quiet street, then suddenly Hound and Loona are running down it in a panic.]

Loona: Start the bike! Start the fucking bike!

Hound: I'm trying!

[A massive amount of female cultists (mostly Hellhounds and animal-based sinners) are chasing them with hearts in their eyes. Back to reality.]

Hound: Okay, they've been a little annoying, but they'll get bored soon enough. We just gotta wait a little more.

[Blitzo takes a deep breath. He grabs Hound's shoulder.]

Blitzo: Look, Hound, you've got two options: Either tell those creepy fuck to GTFO, or I'll make sure you never enjoy another date with my sweet Loonie! You got that?!

Hound: (Sighs) Fine.

[Hound leaves the office, Loona worried, follows him, and she sees that Hound is hesitating to call the elevator.]

Loona: Hey, is everything okay?

[Hound hesitates for a bit.]

Hound: It's just that every time I see those guys, the memories of what happened rush back in. And...it's a lot.

Loona: Hey, I know it's hard, but just remember, you are Hound now, not the Knight. You can do this.

[Loona takes his hand. Hound smiles at her, and they share a quick kiss.]

Hound: I love you.

Loona: Me too, now let's get rid of these weirdos.

[Hound chuckles and follows her. Outside the building, the cultists notice him.]

Cultist: IT'S HIM! IT'S THE GLORIOUS KNIGHT!

[All Cultists stop what they are doing and flock to where he is. In a flash, both Loona and Hound are surrounded by cultists. Hound clears his throat.]

Hound: Um...Hi all-

Cultists: BLESS THE CRIMSON KNIGHT!

Hound: (Wierded out) Okay. Look, it's an honor to see all this support-

Random Cultist: I LOVE YOU, CRIMSON KNIGHT!

Hound: Uh...thanks, random cultist...but unfortunately, you can't stay here anymore, so please move and get out of here.

[The cultists are saddened by what he said.]

Cultist: But oh, powerful knight, we have so many questions.

[Hound is confused before he gets an idea.]

Hound: Which... I will answer, but just not here. Look, (types into phone) I just posted in the Crimson Knight Forum the new location, so I'll see you all there, okay?

[The Cultists look at the phones. All of them then stare at it before looking back at Hound, creating an awkward silence.]

Cultist: Ok, you heard the lord, move your fucking things!

[The Cultists quickly pack their things and leave for the new location. Both Hound and Loona are surprised.]

Loona: Whoa, can't believe that worked.

Hound: Yeah, I thought they would be a lot smarter than that...

Loona: Where did you send the off anyway?

[Hound just smirks, it cuts the Hellclaw mansion. One butler is sweeping the entrance before noticing that outside the main gate, several people are gathered there.]

Butler 1: Aw shit. The cultists are back again!

Butler 2: (Offscreen) I'll get the hose.

[The short ends.]