I'd Kill You First: when bad meets bad

Chap. 48

MATT:

I jolted from my fitful sleep on Soda's bed, unsure what had woken me up but cursing whatever it was. It had taken me hours to finally fall asleep, and now I was wide awake yet again.

I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the white ceiling, hating it with everything in me. It only reminded me that Soda wasn't here to stare at it with me. I know it sounds pathetic and weird to say that, but all I could think about anything at all was that it would be better if Soda was there. I had been sleeping in Soda's empty bed for two weeks, and I don't know why I did it to myself. It only hurt like hell to lay down in her sheets and breathe in her scent, miss rolling over and pulling her into my chest, kissing her cheek softly so she didn't wake up.

I sighed and closed my eyes, at least trying to fall asleep again, when I heard my phone beep. My eyes yanked back open as I shot up, basically throwing myself at the device on the bedside table.

I pulled it to my face and slid the lock open, looking at the notification that popped up.

My eyes bulged as my heartbeat shot through the roof, making me throw the sheets back and nearly fall out of bed in my haste to run from the room.

"BRODY!" I yelled, sprinting into the hall and slamming into Keenon's old bedroom door, not able to stop myself in time. "BRODY!"

I threw open his door impatiently and stopped momentarily in my tracks when I saw Brody standing by Keenon's window, looking out at the street with a miserable look on his face. He didn't turn around to look at me, as if he hadn't even heard me come in.

"She's out there," he croaked suddenly, eyes still trained in the night outside. "She's out there all alone. Why would she want that? Who wants to be all alone? Why would she leave me?"

I ignored the sting in my chest, I had asked that question myself many times, and rushed forward. "Brody, listen man! Her phone must be on again because the GPS location for the signal just turned back on!"

He continued to stare blankly at his own reflection in the window, dark circles under his dull eyes.

My muscles were twitching with nervous excitement as I moved closer and shook his shoulder, spinning him around to look at me. "Did you hear me?" I asked, slapping his cheek a bit. His eyes cleared up as he looked at me in confusion. "She turned her phone back on. We have a signal plot! We can go get her! Brody?"

He stared at me for a moment, eyes roaming my face, before pulling away with a pained look on his face. "She doesn't want to be found," he mumbled, shaking his head. "Don't you get it? She's gone. She doesn't want us."

I stopped in my attempt to drag him from the room and almost caved from how much that statement burned. "No," I said firmly, turning back to him. "She loves you. She's your sister and you won't give up on her. I won't give up on her. We will find her and help her get out of that hellhole."

"No!" He hissed in a strained voice, shaking his head furiously. "Something isn't right. She would tell me where she was. She wouldn't just... just leave. Something is off, I can feel it."

I tried to keep from getting aggravated as I basically dragged him into the living room. "Soda leaves, Brody. That's what she does! She can't help herself. All she's ever done is leave me," I choked, heart aching. "But I find her every time, and every single time, she's relieved to see me. She needed someone. I don't understand why she leaves when it hurts her so much, but she never stays. So I will do what I have always done! I will go get her."

Brody didn't try to argue again as I snagged the keys off the counter and hauled him from the apartment toward the elevator.

"You'll see," I sighed, "we can save her. I know it. She wouldn't just leave us for good. No."

But even I could hear the waver in my voice as I basically tried to convince myself of my own words.

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SODA:

I hadn't stopped moving since I was escorted from Boss's mansion. It had been almost two days, and I hadn't slept, or eaten, or been outside of my new apartment. I didn't know the date or the time. All I knew was that I finally had a plan.

It started with finding the leak in Boss's system that had been spilling client locations to Keenon.

With all of my connections, it took me just under two hours to do it. Turns out a man named Kio Tansy had received multiple threats from The Fighter if he didn't spill what he knew, and he even ended up in the hospital after he refused to blab. In the end though, after Keenon went after his family, Kio spilled. It was because he did it for his family that I did not kill him when I found him like protocol demanded.

However, I was shocked at the brutality of Keenon's methods. Kio was beaten beyond recognition, and I heard on the streets that he had set fire to Kio's house while his kids were inside, just to get a message to him. I mean, I had done some pretty terrible things for Boss, worse than that, but I'm just...well, me. But Keenon... It was horrifying to hear of him doing these things.

Anyway, I found Kio and assured him I wouldn't turn him in to Boss's men if he helped me, and he reluctantly agreed when I promised that if he made good on his part, I could make sure The Fighter never came near him again.

All he had to do was pass along false information to Keenon. My false information. Simple enough.

I stopped walking in the park and stood next to a large public trash bin, staring down at my lit up phone screen.

Just do it already.

I swallowed the lump of pain and guilt in my throat as I dropped my phone, signal still going, into the trash bin right as the garbage truck pulled up. I took several steps back and watched the contents of the bin get dumped in the truck before it drove

I'll never forgive myself.

Matt and Brody had been hot on my trail since I left, almost finding me at a bar once, and I just couldn't let that happen. If Boss's men were still watching me and they saw Matt or Brody, they would not hesitate to shoot them. If either one of them got hurt or worse, I might die of grief.

So, I did the worst thing to them, but the best thing for them, and sent them on a wild goose chase. That trash truck would carry my phone and it's signal all over the city for hours until the device died, and Matt and Brody would officially be occupied for at least the entire day. That was enough time for me to carry my plan out without any hiccups.

I walked two blocks back to my car and drove in the opposite direction from the garbage truck. I knew it was for their own good, but when they realized I had played them, I knew Matt would be first angry, and then just plain hurt. Brody was probably already a mess, and it was all my fault.

But like I said, I'd rather have them hate me for what I've done, than dead for what I couldn't stop.

Now I drove off to do the hardest and most painful thing of my life. It was time to take action on my decision, on the ultimatum Boss gave me, and there was no way out of it.

I'm so sorry, Keenon.

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