Sometimes it's hard for haechan to be your best friend . Well not in the way it sounds it's just been so long & his feelings are so strong that it's hard for him to separate the concept of being in love with you from the concept of being just friends .
Sometimes he thinks you know how he feels or maybe you feel the same way he does . Your actions confuse him sometimes but the way his heart beats and time slows in those moments make him the happiest person in the world .
He hates himself for just not being able to tell you how he feels but he'd rather hide his own feelings than upset yours and lose you if you don't feel the same . He doesn't know what he'd do if you walked out of his life and it kind of scares him to think about one without you .
~
"and some species of jellyfish can regenerate their bodies and even be immortal" you spoke laying your head on his chest as he leaned back against your headboard , his fingers tracing your scalp between each braid in the 2 front rows of your head , a habit of his that developed from you saying you liked it when he did that & listening to you rant about jellyfish for the billionth time since you've known each other .
His body felt warm with contentment anytime he was in your presence like this .. it always felt like the two of you were meant to be , like your souls were destined to meet .
Being lost in his thoughts about you had him hearing nothing for the past few minutes and apparently you knew because he was snapped right out of his daydream when you lifted your head and turned to him , your face being only a few inches away from his .
"did you hear what i said ?" you asked looking into his eyes & he just knew his fae was turning red , he felt it . "N-no sorry" he slightly smiled and you looked at him for a bit without saying anything . He watched as your eyes traveled down to his lips and then back up to his own eyes "Focus" you said and he nodded letting you get back to laying down on him .
"I said if we were jellyfish i would hope we are hydrozoan turritopsis dohrniis because then in that way we could be together forever .. i think id like that a lot" you repeated and he felt his heart start to beat faster as you picked up his free hand in your own and held it up in the air before intertwining your pinky finger with his .
This was one of those moments he appreciated the most . One of the moments that eased his anxious mind and heart even if you didn't mean it the way he interpreted or even if it only lasted a second .
"Me too" he pressed his chin to the top of your head , his heart smiling as he felt you move closer to him in comfort .
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yes this is self indulgent bc i needed it lol
but anyways on to the writing of the yoongi chapter now while i have this burst of inspiration , be back tomorrow !
