Behind The Mask II Harry Styles #Wattys2015

Chapter 71

Alyssa's P.O.V.

Dear Diary,

I wasn't gonna write anything today because I'm tired from the photo shoot earlier but I felt like I needed to get some things out. Harry has been even more confusing these past few days. He gets so angry over the simplest things. I said this last time, but it's getting worse. He seems to be more affectionate, but in a dark, twisted way. I didn't think of it at the time, but now it frightens me how he tied me up when he was kissing me in my most private place. He loves to be in control and loves to command me around. He loves to see me whimper and beg. The thing that scares me most, is that I like it. He's like nicotine. I know he's bad for me and that in the end, I will be left black, but the way he tastes and feels, and the feeling I get when I'm with him keeps me coming back for more. I taste him on my lips and I can't ever get rid of him. He's the sweetest taste of poison. I'm addicted to him and it's nothing that I can get over. His love for me is not what I want, but I need it so bad. He has me beaten. I never realized it until now. He's slowly changed me. Before I met him I never swore, never did anything against my religion. I never even thought about having sex with anyone until I was married but he has changed me. I find myself falling away from God and everything I thought I was more and more as each day passes. I feel like a failure. In times like these when I need Harry the most, I realize that he'll do nothing for me but hurt me more. Like Nicotine, he will be the death of me.

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Does anybody get the song reference in there? Let me know if you caught it ;)