Searching For Answers (We Can Make This Work sequel)

Chapter 48

I woke up with a crazy hangover and decided it was time to leave the house. I didn't want to talk to anyone but I was driving myself crazy sitting, staring at the four walls, all day every day.

I decided I wasn't hungry and just threw on some sweatpants and whatever hoodie I could find. I grabbed up my keys, left the house and started walking. To where I had no idea.

The more I walked the more I felt this burning sensation in my chest, like there was this hole sucking up my heart, it was more a mental pain than physical but it hurt. I realised that's why I haven't left the house in 3 weeks, I couldn't cope. Everything I walked by reminded me of Spence, of how he'd never wake me up to get our favourite coffee in Susie's again or we'd never get to walk the promenade at midnight or watch him become a child in his favourite bookstore, or to watch him become the father he always wished he could be. It was all taken away from me and I didn't even have the chance to fight for him. It was then I knew exactly who I needed to see.

I strode quickly back home and jumped into my car. I checked the glove compartment and it was there. That's all I needed.

It took some time to get to the house but I was finally there. I thought I might have talked myself out of it by now but I knew this is what needed to be done. I grabbed up what I needed from the car and strode confidently up to the front door.

I knocked hard and waited for her to answer.

"Darcy, what are you doing here?" she stood back in shock

"I'm here to talk Carrie" I gritted my teeth as the bitch who took my husband away from me took a step aside and let me in

"What are you here for?" she asked hesitantly as I followed her into the kitchen

I wasn't in the mood for chit chat. I pulled my gun from the back of my pants and pointed it towards her. Watching her turn slowing as she heard the click

"I'm here for revenge Carrie" I spat but I could feel my hand start to slightly tremble as I swallowed the lump in my throat

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Agent Blake" Carrie spoke calmly

"Who's going to find out? The CIA understand their agents like to go rogue sometimes, am I right? Well what would happen if they heard you plotted against Spencer and the team? You couldn't take the guilt of going against your country so you pulled the trigger so you wouldn't have to suffer the consequences" I smiled viciously

"They're not that stupid Darcy and neither are you" she remained calm but there was fear in her eyes

"They will have your statement by tonight and they'll come looking for you, now do you really want the death penalty? This isn't the first time you've slipped up Carrie, they all think you're some crazy bitch, they're just looking for something to land you with" I whispered harshly

"You don't want to do this Darcy, Spencer wouldn't want to see you like this" she begged

"Shut up" I roared "you have no idea what he would have wanted! He certainly didn't want you" I screamed "this is all your fault"

That pushed me and I pulled the trigger.

I aimed for her foot and shot the bullet clean through. She roared in pain as she fell to the floor. I walked slowly towards her and stood over her.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" she spat in pain

I stood on her foot as I watched her wince and gritted my teeth

"This never happened! If you want to keep your job you'll shut your mouth and pass this off as an accident are we clear?" I spoke calmly

Carrie nodded and I gave one more dig into her foot before leaving. I had to get away from D.C. Carrie won't keep quiet for long.

I decided it was time to tie up all loose ends and leave for good, including leaving the BAU.

**************

"Darcy I won't let you" Hotch demanded after I told him my intentions

After my visit to Carrie I drove to Hotch's house and decided to tell him my plans

"Hotch I can't stay here anymore, everything reminds me of him and it hurts. I don't have the same passion for the job as I used to! Its time I just let the past go and that includes everyone I love, everyone I've hurt over the years" I sighed as I leaned against the wall

"What about Jacob? He's getting married soon and he's going to need you! He just lost his dad too you know!" Hotch reasoned

"He barely knew Spencer and besides I'll be back for the wedding and if he needs help he'll know where to find me. Hotch he's lasted 21 years without me! He's a grown man and he doesn't need me in his life" I replied

"And JJ? Have you spoken to her yet?" He said once more trying to find something that will keep me here

"Hotch you know I haven't spoken to JJ in months, but I'm willing to forget and make my peace with her before I leave" I said trying to persuade him that I have my mind made up

"And what about me Darce?" Hotch whispered as he drew closer to me

"Come with me" I spoke softly as I placed my hand on his cheek

"You know I can't do that" he sighed as he hung his head

"Hotch you've done your duty to this Bureau, it's time you finally took a break" I smiled "besides I'm sure they'll have no problem taking you in the New York field office if you get bored"

"New York?" he looked up at me

"I've been thinking about it for a while" I spoke softly

"You know I'd go anywhere for you Darce but our home is here, in D.C. with the rest of the team" he begged

"Look Hotch whether you want to leave or not is your choice but I'm tying up loose ends here and then I'm gone, my mind is made up, I can't stay here any longer, Carrie is going to tell the CIA soon enough and she's going to want to hurt me. This is for the best" I stood my ground

"Then I'm coming with you" he said sternly "just give me a week ok?" he smiled

"ok" I grinned as I placed a small kiss on his cheek

"This is what we used to dream about Aaron" I whispered as I squeezed his hand and walked towards the door

"I love you Darcy Blake you know that" Hotch gave a small smile

"I never forgot it" I said as I turned and walked out the door