Searching For Answers (We Can Make This Work sequel)

Chapter 22

** JJ's P.O.V. ** 

I heard a sharp knock at my door as I finished making some coffee. I walked to the door and opened it to find a not so happy looking Spencer standing outside 

"Hi Spence" I smiled in confusion "come in" I said as I took a step towards him to kiss his cheek but he brushed past me as he stomped into the dining room 

"Why didn't you tell me?" he spat harshly 

"What are you talking about?" I replied sternly 

"Oh don't play stupid with me JJ, you know exactly what I'm talking about" he began to raise his voice 

"Spencer Reid I have no fucking idea what you are talking about right now and don't you dare raise your voice to me! If you don't calm down you're walking straight back out that door and I will not speak to you until some sense enters that fucked up mind of yours!" I spat back 

He turned his back to me and I could hear him taking deep harsh breaths as he tried to calm himself, when he was finally ready he slowly turned to face me 

"Why didn't you tell me Darcy was alive?" he growled 

I took a step back in shock 

"How did you find out?" I whispered 

"Oh I don't know! Maybe she turned up on my doorstep out of nowhere last night telling me she's been working for the fucking CIA the last 20 years in Berlin!" Spencer said sarcastically  

"Spencer I" I started but didn't know where to begin 

"You know what forget it! I don't want to hear your lousy excuse" he said exasperated as he turned to make his way to leave 

"No Spencer please, just wait a second" I started as he turned back to face me "Hotch and I were the only ones that could know. Darcy needed me to find her somewhere safe while Hotch had to clear things up here. I know it was hard on you but Darcy wasn't safe here, she couldn't keep running, I haven't spoken to her in weeks, I had no idea she was coming home Spencer, I swear I would have warned you If I had of known!" I begged 

"What's the point of warning me JJ? Why couldn't you just have told me in the first place?" he raised his voice once more 

"I came to you for months JJ! Crying because I lost the one person I had ever loved, my wife!" he yelled "and you sat there and said nothing!" 

"Because I couldn't!" I yelled back 

"You couldn't or you wouldn't?" he questioned 

I stood there speechless with nothing more to say 

"You know what? Fuck you Jennifer! And don't you dare try to speak to me again! What we had never happened, I knew I could never love you" he spat  

It was like a crushing blow hit my chest, what was I thinking? Knowing Darcy was alive yet I still took advantage of Spencer because he was lonely and I had just lost Will. 

"Spencer please" I gave a strangled whisper 

"What if I had started taking dilauded again? Would you have let me?" he questioned 

"But you didn't" I whispered 

"Yea well I thought about it" he whispered harshly as he turned his back on me and walked out of the house slamming the door sending an echo reverberating off the walls