Searching For Answers (We Can Make This Work sequel)

Chapter 49

** Darcy's P.O.V. **

"Mom come here for a second" I heard Jacob call from his room in our house

"Coming" I answered back while putting the finishing touches to my make up

I walked as fast as I could across the hall to his room

"What is Jake?" I smiled as I entered his room and froze when I looked up and saw him standing there

"How do I look?" He smiled cheekily

My hands flew up, covering my mouth in awe. Tears began to well up in my eyes

"Jake" I choked a whisper

"What? What is it? Is it the tie-bow? Is it crooked?" He began to fidget around

I grabbed his hands and looked straight into his eyes.

"You're perfect son" I whispered as I stood back to take it all in

"You were always perfect Jake" I smiled with tears in my eyes

"Mom don't cry" he laughed as he caught me in a bear hug

"I'm sorry Jake" I smiled sadly

"For what? Crying?" he laughed but his face grew serious

"No, for everything. I know I wasn't there when I should have been, I gave up and ran like a coward. I should have been there Jacob, I should have raised you, not Casper! And now I've been caught up with your dad and now he's gone! This wasn't an ideal life for you Jake and you deserved so much more" I hung my head as the tears fell

"Hey mom stop that" he said seriously as he brought me in for a gentler hug "no one's life is ideal but I made the best of what I had and now look! I'm about to marry the woman of my dreams, the woman who turned my whole life around! I have you here by my side and that's all I could ever ask for! I know it's hard not having Spencer here but we will honour his memory, honour the man he was, the dad he was!" he spoke softly

I sniffled into his shoulder and stood back

"You're an amazing man Jacob Reid, you know that!" I smiled "now come on I don't think it's traditional to be later than the bride" I laughed

Myself, Jacob and his groomsmen Matt and Tyler all piled into a limo that took us to a small little country church just outside the city. It was magical! It was surrounded by a forest where the trees and wild flowers were in full bloom. The sun was shining and the birds were singing. For once in a very long time things felt perfect!

We made our way into the church where the guests were already sitting waiting. I walked to the top of the aisle with Jacob and took a seat on the right side of the church, the groom's side. I sat in beside Hotch and he gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

"You look amazing!" Hotch whispered softly into my ear

"You're not so bad yourself Mr Hotchner" I smiled, whispering back to him

Then the music began and Kelsey entered the church, she walked gracefully up the aisle, trailing behind her two bridesmaids who were dressed in beautiful ice blue dresses. As she strode stunningly up the aisle on her father's arm, she turned to me and smiled, whispering "thank you" as her father gave her away to my son.

My son.

I never thought I'd hear myself say that. My one and only son was now leaving to start a whole new future with Kelsey and what a bright one it would be! I wish I could start all over again, I wish I could rewind and be there for every single moment, every step, every fall, every laugh and every tear. I looked over at Hotch and thought was it even possible? Could we ever start from the beginning and forget everything that has ever happened?

To be honest I didn't know what Hotch and I were. We moved to New York a month ago but we kept out of each other's way. Hotch couldn't give up work easily so he transferred to the New York field office and he worked most days. We stayed in separate rooms and didn't discuss much other than the weather. We were tip toeing and I had no idea why. Maybe we weren't ready. Maybe I rushed us into all this.

Just like that the ceremony was over and we made our way to a lovely hotel not far from the church, it was an old manor with spectacular gardens. We had the meal and the night rushed by. It was time for the first dance and the tears came once again. They were so beautiful and so in love. It brought me back to my wedding with Spencer.

"May I have this dance" a familiar yet distant voice spoke 

I turned my head to see him standing there

"Casper" I whispered