Searching For Answers (We Can Make This Work sequel)

Chapter 41

** Spencer's P.O.V. **

"Can you make me a coffee?" I pleaded playfully as I pouted my lip and gave Carrie the best puppy dog eyes I could muster up

"Am I your slave?" Carrie glared at me as she pulled the bed sheet from me to cover her naked body

"It's about time the roles were reversed" I winked playfully

"Are you saying you're my sex slave" she gave a laugh as she left the bed to put on her underwear "wow thanks Spence, way to make a woman feel good about herself" she teased

"Hey, hey, hey" I smiled at her beautiful laugh as I rolled myself out of bed and walked towards her wrapping my arms around her waist "I never said being your slave was a bad thing" I whispered sultrily in her ear as I placed a light kiss on her neck

"Spencer" she laughed incredulously as she slapped my chest "I don't want you to be any of that, I want you to be my gentleman" she smiled sweetly as she threw on one of my t-shirts, which I had to admit, looked amazing on her

I stood there and looked at her for a moment and took in every single detail on her body. She was quite beautiful. She turned her back to me, to walk towards the dining room but I grabbed her just before she could leave the room.

"You're very beautiful you know that?" I mumbled as I continued to take in her features I never truly saw under the light of day, as I was always in a hurry to leave at the end of the night

"Define your idea of beauty Spencer, because I'm sure I'm not the first person you've said this to, and for all I know you could be just saying that as a ruse so I will answer you at your every beckon call" she teased playfully as she wrapped her arms around my neck and stared deep into my eyes.

She was the type of woman I felt could see my soul if she looked hard enough. Darcy could do the same, although I'm sure there is a despicable contrast between when Darcy last looked at me lovingly and now while Carrie stares at me. She won't like what she sees.

"You know for a long time I and millions of others have wondered what is true beauty yet we can never quite put into words what it means to us personally and yet for as far back as humanity can peer into the past, we've attempted again and again to capture and define beauty. For Indian philosopher Tagore, beauty was the Truth of eternity. For Richard Feynman, it was the mesmerism of complexity. For E. B. White, it was the power of simplicity. For the influential early art theorist Denman Waldo Ross, it was a supreme instance of order. For legendary philosopher Denis Dutton, it was "a gift handed down from the intelligent skills and rich emotional lives of our most ancient ancestors." But despite all these metaphysical explanations, we continue to strive for a concrete, tangible, material answer. But as they say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and in my eyes everything about you is what defines beauty to me" I stated as I grinned, embarrassed by my ramblings

"Wow Spence" she looked at me with genuine awe "that's very nice of you" she blushed

I placed my two hands on her cheeks to feel the heat of her embarrassment in my attempt to serenade her with my facts. She leaned in and kissed me gently on the lips as we savoured the moment.

 "Why do we have to leave in an hour?" she sighed as she placed her head on my shoulder and I pulled her in for a hug

She let go of me and left the room

"Spence can you start packing our bags please?" she called from the kitchen

"Only if you make me coffee" I answered playfully

"Deal" she laughed

******

** Darcy's P.O.V. **

I sat there, numb, on the edge of my bed. I had been awake all night, Spencer's words floating through my head. How could he leave like this? How could he love another woman when all I tried to do was make things right between us? And now he's leaving for Islamabad and I might never see him again.

My phone began to ring in my pocket as it startled me from my thoughts

"Hello" I mumbled

"Darcy?" the familiar voice spoke

"Spence?" I whispered feeling myself already being choked up

"Hey Darce" he said softly

"Are you ok?" I questioned softly although it should be him asking, not me

"Yea, I'm good, I'm sorry for leaving just a note, I couldn't find it in me to face you" he said sadly

"You were never very good at goodbyes Spencer Reid" I tried to lighten the tone

He gave a small laugh in return "I guess not" he replied "but I am sorry Darce, I'm sorry for what I've done and for what I've put you through since you came home, you never deserved that, but you stuck by me and for that I am truly grateful, and I love you for it" he said genuinely

"Spencer" I sighed "can you tell me one thing before I hang up?"

"Sure, anything" he said in confusion

"Who is she?" I said feeling anger bubble in my throat

"How do you?" he replied in shock but i cut him off

"I'm not stupid Spencer, those late nights, secret calls, leaving for days on end. I wasn't blind" I growled

I heard him give a sigh of submission on the other end

"Her name's Carrie, she's the ops chief and she's my boss" he said apologetically but with happiness in his tone

"You love her don't you?" I questioned sadly, no matter how hard he tried he couldn't hide that tone of happiness and I knew it wasn't easy to make Spencer happy

"Yes" he whispered bluntly and with that one word my heart shattered and I crumbled inside

My whole world was spinning and I just instantly felt like giving up. Why did I ever come home? Why couldn't I have just died when Casper shot me? Why did I ever transfer to the BAU?

I tried to recollect my thoughts again before speaking and took a deep breath. I had nothing more to say

"Darce? Are you still there?" he questioned sadly

"Goodbye Spencer Reid, it was nice to have known you" I said bluntly, soullessly

"Darcy don't do this!" he pleaded desperately "not after everything" he begged

"You've made your decision" I mumbled as I ended the call

"And I've made mine"