Dearest, Heartbreaker.

||first letter back||

Dearest,

girl?

Should I start it like that?

probably not, but I don't know your name so

you're just gonna have to deal with it.

For starters,

I don't even know if you're a girl,

it's most likely, though, I would never fuck a guy.

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

it doesn't seem like much fun either,

there's only one hole, if you know what I mean.

Let me just throw something out there,

you ask a lot of questions and

I don't even remember half of them.

Sorry not sorry, it's just not one of my interest.

Don't get me wrong, I love it when girls

write me letters describing their hate for me

which then turns into love and then a

whole sappy story comes right after it.

Listen, I'm just going to be frank

I owe you that much.

Stop being such a bitch.

I don't like you, that's maybe why I didn't take

much notice in you.

and to be truthfully honest

you're probably not good looking.

I sleep around with a lot of girls at parties

and then I never talk to them, that's how it is

I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not.

Hell, I don't even know you.

just stop writing to me, yeah?

It's weird,

and a bit pathetic.

You don't even know me.

As to why my friends were laughing,

you probably would too if someone randomly

declared their love for you in hand-written letters

and then declared their hate for you and your soul

in the same exact one.

I think I made my point very clear, though.

After all...you did say you loved my honesty and bluntness.

Hasta la vista, baby.

-Ryder

Aka horse rider

(P.S. I had chinese takeout and that's why the letter has brown stains, again, I'm not sorry.)