Dearest, Heartbreaker.

||sixteenth letter||

Dearest,

Heartbreaker.

Please,

don't lie to me.

I've seen the girls

you go out with

and I'm not like them.

I'm not even close.

So I beg of you...

stop giving me

false hopes.

Since the moment

I laid my eyes on you

I knew you were

lovely to look at,

but sadly,

like you said....

there's nothing here.

And there can't

possibly be

anything here.

Ever.

E V E R.

And maybe that's okay?

I've noticed how

you look at me now.

There's just so much

behind your stare.

Call it lust

or curiosity

but it chills me

to the core.

You even had the

audacity to smirk

at me today.

I almost died.

You know how much

I like your smirk,

you probably

did it on purpose

because you also winked.

And I couldn't help

but think that

even your dimples are flirty

when you smile.

I've been thinking and

I think I shouldn't be

that mad at Tyler..

I mean, yeah

what he did was wrong,

and yeah

he played me without

a care or remorse,

but I think that if

I forgave you then

I can forgive him too.

And it wouldn't matter

that much anyways

because I'm just

focusing on graduating

right now.

Getting this "high school"

thing over with.

You see Ryder,

I don't know if

you've noticed but

I don't have many friends.

In fact,

I'm sure I don't have

ANY friends.

And that's quite alright,

people now a days

are very focused on fitting in

and I don't really care

about that.

I mean, who gives

a strawberry cheesecake

if you're different?

You do you

and if you're different

and you're happy with that

then you should be

the best kind of

different that there is.

We all should just be

the best version

of ourselves possible.

What I'm trying to say

with all this "nonsense"

rambling is that

I've come to the conclusion

that you can't be in love

with someone if you've

never talked to them.

That's just you

being attracted

by their appearance

rather than by them

as a person.

And if you still

don't get where

I'm going with this

I'll make it even simpler.

Come and talk to me.

In person.

I'm ready.

Come get to know me,

by me as a person.

Not my appearance.

Come on Ryder,

I think it's time.

-me

(P.S don't fall if you're not ready to catch yourself)

(P.S.S if you come and talk to me....come sober. So you do atleast remember this time.)