Dearest, Heartbreaker.

||twenty-first letter back||

Dearest,

Ultraviolet.

You like my nickname?

I thought I should give you one

since the whole Horse Ryder thing.

And I've been thinking about a nickname,

and fuck was it haaaaaard!

but thankfully this one

just came to me last night

while I was thinking about you.

To answer your question...

Yes.

I am on the school's talent show.

Now, I know how stupid that sounds

and apparently I didn't know it

but the school's talent show is a "big deal".

I know this because

when I signed up

Mr. Whitman looked at

me seriously and said

"You better not fuck this up, kid."

Yeah I know what you're thinking....

That man's got a crush on me.

I am so irresistibly hot

that I also attract old ass men.

(Cue the girly hair flip.)

But seriously,

I am on the school's talent show.

And I know what you're thinking...

"Why, Ryder?"

Weeeell..

Honestly, the talent show

and everybody in it

could go fuck themselves

because I'm just doing this for you.

I normally don't sing in front of people,

just in my room to myself.

But I want to sing to you.

Jesus Christ, I want to sing to you.

Because Violet,

these past few days have

been one of the most

horrible days of my life.

I haven't a been able to sleep right,

eat food,

write anything,

exercise.

I was trying to ignore you

and I just couldn't.

I missed you.

I missed you so fucking bad.

And I couldn't forget you

no matter how hard I tried.

You're on my heart Violet,

and you've made your home

in there permanent.

I couldn't kick you out of there

no matter how bad I tried.

Please, come tomorrow

to the talent show to hear me sing.

Because I'm not singing for them

or the judges.

I'm singing for you.

-Ryder.