Finding you within me

Chapter 8

Lydia's Pov:

I watch the leaf  as it glides down from the tree swaying side from side so peacefully, it was the last leaf  left on the tree. It hovers over the ground, pricking this green grass below before soaring through the silver gate, it dances across the road dodging all of the cars in it's way, it can just fly so freely.  Till It drifts to a stop on the pathway, it just stops as soon as the wind stops guiding it. Someone steps onto the leaf not thinking a single thing about it. Because it's not big because it has no one to carry it through the world or because it's just a leaf. But that leaf shouldn't even be hear as it is time for the new ones to grow but yet it was as the cold and frost didn't make it fall.

It's been a week That I hadn't gone back to school, I thought I was ready but when Ryan asked me about love about him I don't even know what came over me.

I take a seat on the swing, no one else was hear due to the fact it was freezing cold, and watch the time go by. It always does when I think of him.

How we used to be, how he made me happy, how he helped me but for his own selfish reason but he numbed the pain.

The pain is with me a lot now and people say it won't matter in a few years that it will all be a distant memory but it won't, cause you never stop loving someone.

I look around for something to distract me from him and his crystal blue eyes. They way his arms went around me, how everything felt so right.  How could I be so stupid and naïve I wipe the tears that had been flooding down my face.

'Lydia?' Great one of the last voices I wanted to hear.

'What!' I snap at him

'Are you ok?' He looked concerned but it's part of there act

'Yes I am,' I soften my voice taking my anger out on Ryan won't solve anything. He takes a seat on the swing next to me and I grip onto the chains tighter.

'Cause everyone cries when they are ok' his voice is full of sarcasm.

'Tears of joy?' I look up for the first time since he arrived. I almost forgot how fit  he was I understand why people fall for him but at least I have my eyes open to see through all there acts.

'They are not tears of joy'

'Then why did you ask if I was ok when you obviously know I'm not,' he lets out a huff and swings a bit on his swing.

'I don't remember you being so annoying.' He has a scowl on his face.

'I don't remember you being so moody' He gives me a look shock.

'Cause I'm the grumpy one,' He has a little smirk on his face like he is enjoying this

'Whatever, what are you doing here?' I definitely was not in the mood for him and his constant questions, I thought he was different but the way he was showing off to those girls in pe made me think otherwise.

'Cause I was worried you haven't been in school for a week and the last time I saw you, you was running out of the classroom!'

'Yeah I've been really sick I ran out of the class room because I was going to thrown up,' it wasn't completely a lie when he asked me about love I did think I was going to thrown up.

'Your a really bad lier,'

'I'm sorry I don't lie a lot'

'You gonna tell me the truth now?' His eyes look like they could pierce into my soul.

My mind wonders back 'did I do something to annoy you in gym? Have you had a bad experience with love?'

'You gonna tell my why you was walking in the park alone at 7am on a Saturday?' Nobody comes here in this weather at this time in the morning
unless they are doing the walk of shame....

'I asked you first,' He looks at me like he is trying to figure me out but nobody can I'm still trying to find myself.

'I asked you second.'

'I don't remember you being this stubborn, I am here because I wanted to get out my house and clear my head what's your reason?'

'I told you I'm trying to find myself I thought that the park could help me,' He laughs at me, even his laugh is cute.

'That's so....'

'Stupid?'

'No cheesy' a breeze sweeps past us, the cold air hits my face causing my hair to go into a mess.

I pull the strands out of my face and pat my hair down trying to sort it out.

'So what Is the reason you left science?' I look over to the trees, maybe if I run he won't be able to catch me. Wait that's a stupid idea he said he likes football and probably does athletic.

'You know I had a boyfriend, you know my mum put it together love never lasts so yes I have had a bad experience with love.'

I look at him to make sure that he's following where I'm coming from,

'And also it was the way you said it like you thought we was gonna be in love after you asked if it annoyed me, it's like you thought we was in love or was going to be in love and who even said I looked at you in gym?'

He stars at me, mouth open not saying anything.

'I'm sorry I didn't mean to be a bitch.' He still didn't say anything and the silence was killing me. I get up from the swing and start to walk home leaving him at the swing.