Finding you within me

Chapter 16

Lydia's pov :

I stare Alex up and down, wondering if I should shout at him or just kick him where the sun don't shine.

I watch as Ryan stares Alex up too, probably for the same reason.

'Come on Lydia I thought you said nothing was going on between you and him.' Is this his sick minded way to get back at me for not kissing him.

'I don't understand you, five years of torture and you still want to put me through pain. You think you know somebody and then they do this. It's low even for you.'

He smirks like this is all a game to him, the one who falls loses. 'Last night, when I was round your house, you said there was nothing going on between you two.'

' oh I'm sorry I seem to be forgetting what happened last night after the sex and blow jobs or at least that's what I've heard.'

The smirk is replaced by confusion he stares at me for a few seconds.

'Are you high?' I can't believe him, his selfish defences.

'Oh don't deny it, lies seem to get around in this school.'

' I'm seriously confused what are you on about.'  Everything about him scream don't trust him, but his face, his voice persuade me to believe him.

'Lydia don't trust him.' I turn to Ryan and my heart aces to know what he must think of me but I told him I was a time bomb, I said to stay away.

' I know him...'

'Know him well enough he can cheat on you?! Hahaha I thought you was better than that,' his words stab my black heart

'Oh please dude she knows I was cheating.' Sacrificing my heart to love him was the stupidest thing I did yet I wouldn't change it. It wasn't always bad with him, it was bitter sweet.

Ryan's face is filled with confusion

'I'm not stupid I found at a few weeks after the first girl,' Ryan's confusion grows

'Then why did you stay?'

I let out a crisp laugh ' that's love right.'

'Do you trust him?' Ryan sounds hard. I know his mind is changing about me, I can feel him letting go. I should be happy this is what I wanted but I'm not.

'Yeah well I know when he's lying.'

'I can't believe you, how can you trust him when all he does it hurt you.' I wish it was that easy.

'Because she still loves me.' The aggression on Ryan's face rises every second.

'Ha yeah right.' I wish I could say I didn't love him still but I can't help it, it's been 5 months everyone says I should move on but I can't.

' don't worry I'll get all the rumours cleaned up for you Lydia.' Alex said this with aggression I dunno why I made it clear I couldn't be with him again. Yet he moves house he moves school just to be with me but it's just a little too late now.

The door sides open and I go to the back of the class, I sit by myself the way I like it when Daisy not here. I'm made around 2 friends but they was all friends with daisy first.

"Bonjour class today we are going to be revising our reflexives. " I look at my book, this stuff is so easy.

'Lydia what does j'ai s'amusent avec lui mean' a sad smile comes to me everything relates to him. Us. Love.

' I have fun with him.' And I did I still do everything about him excites me.

The colour of the board reminds me of the amber and Ruby leaves. And it was like I was there again.