the buddy system / lrh 🍒

22:confessions and drummers

Katherine stared at him, shaking her head as he spoke, her teeth clamped on her bottom lip in horrific anxiety that was probably felt inside of her as well as outside.

She could practically feel it hanging in the air awkwardly, like it replaced the air and it was the only thing that you could inhale. It made sense though, probably because she swore she was suffocating on it.

"I do love you," she breathed out, her voice just above a low whisper so that the world could barely hear the unrequited fear in her voice. "I'm just scared to."

And it was true. She was absolutely, stupidly horrified about loving Luke Hemmings and the feeling was practically engulfing her in all it's darkness.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in either upset or confusion, Katherine couldn't tell much anymore. She just knew it probably wasn't a good feeling.

"Why are you so afraid of me? Afraid of loving me? There's got to be more than you being scared," he stated sternly, his grayish eyes fixated on hers in all their seriousness.

Just looking at him made her want to die of guilt.

Katherine rubbed her temples, squeezing her eyes shut as she felt the stupid, non-useful tears well up in in her eyes.

She always fucking hated crying. It was annoying and a waste of time and it honestly just made her want to smack herself in the face a thousand times for sweating from her eyes.

"I'm scared because i will destroy you, Luke," she said simply, easily because it was the truth.

The stupid painful, ugly truth that would set her soul free or some shit in the movies but only make her sound like an asshole in reality.

"I will tear you apart and hurt you until there is nothing left and i don't want to. I don't want to lose you like i lost my dad. I can't lose people. I'm just a hurricane that brings despair and fear and broken-ness and i don't want you hurt because of me. I don't want you to end up like my dad," the redheaded girl explained, opening her eyes to look at the blonde haired boy in front of her, hot tears spilling from her eyes and running down her pale face. "Don't let me destroy you."

The blue eyed boy shook his head, taking her hands in his larger ones before lifting them up to his face and placing a kiss on the pale skin.

"There are going to be times where you hurt people, Kat. You can't stop that, but you can't also stop yourself from loving people, and you can't stop me from being absolutely, terribly in love with you," he started, slowly, holding her hands in his as he spoke, his eyes scanning over her face, over her utterly lost expression.

"But you what you can do is to learn to forgive yourself because being angry at yourself won't do shit okay? You'll only tear yourself apart, and trust me, it's not worth it. Sure, it's hard, learning how to forgive yourself, i know, i've felt that too when my mum died, but i will be right here, right next to you every step of the way and i will fix you. I'm going to make sure you're okay, i'll take care of you " Luke continued on with a small, nervous smile on his lips. "Because that's what buddies do right?"

Katherine let out a choked laugh, nodding in grateful response. "I love you," she repeated timidly, her voice small and shy as she spoke, basically pouring her heart out for a boy she hated just a few months back.

"And i love you," he laughed, resting his forehead against hers, his blue eyes wide and full of light, not grey and at a loss for color anymore.

Because he had Katherine to color them in again.