phan oneshots

i noticed (angst)

summary: Dan slowly notices that Phil is depressed, and does his best to help him

tw// mentions of self-harm, bullying, depression throughout

You're on my bus. I don't think you notice me, but I notice you.

Whenever we get off at the same stop, I've noticed the way you pass the street, not checking if there's any coming cars. You just walk, earphones in, eyes down to your feet.

I didn't say anything.

I noticed that in math class, you didn't listen. You only drew in your sketch book. I didn't know what you drew until the teacher moved me behind you.

You shouldn't be drawing those kinds of things- it should be smiling and hugging, not a man hanging from a ceiling fan or a girl standing on the edge of a building.

I didn't say anything.

I noticed that you sat alone at lunch. You read or listened to music, not interacting with anyone. You didn't eat much either. Most of the time I saw the bullies take your lunch from you.

I didn't say anything.

Usually on Mondays I noticed how you'd come to school with bruises and scratches, obviously from someone else. You limped a lot and picked at your scabs. You should use a bandaid, silly!

I didn't say anything. I should have, because the next day you weren't at school. When you came back however, I noticed that all you ever wore from that day were long sleeves. I wanted to ask why, and see why.

But I didn't say anything.

I noticed the way you'd stutter when the teacher would pick on you. I noticed the way you flinched from people bumping into you in the hallways. I noticed the way your eyes would water when you zoned out, but you'd snap out of it and put on a smile.

When the bell rang you quickly grabbed your things, but a bottle of pills fell out of your backpack. I read it. Antidepressants. I pretended not to see as you frantically picked it back up and hurried out of the classroom.

I almost said something.

Until one day, you passed out in class. I was the one that caught you. Nobody asked if you were okay afterwards. I would've. I should've. I passed by the nurse today to see you taking anxiety pills. You didn't seem happy to take them.

The next day I was in the bathroom and you came out of the stall, your eyes red and face blotchy.

I finally said something.

"What happened? And don't say nothing, I know you're not fine."

Without warning you flung your arms towards me, hugging me tightly and sobbing into my shoulder. I quickly hugged you back, petting your messy hair cautiously. You began crying harder. "Phil, what is it?"

That's when you looked up at me, tears streaming down your cheeks but a small smile on your face before you replied,

"You're the only one who noticed."