phan oneshots

dont wake me up (angst)

inspired by (that one episode of) Supernatural, Dream by Imagine Dragons

summary: Phil is a dream and Dan doesn't wake up.

"It's beautiful,"

Phil was grateful for Dan's astonishment. He had made him a galaxy, an actual galaxy with their own planets and their own stars. He knew Dan loved space as much as Phil loved him. Dan reached out and touched the star closest to him, his body floating with the other millions of nebula and comets.

"It's almost like a dream, isn't it?" Phil smiled sadly, and Dan nodded.

"If it is, I never wanna wake up," Dan's attention then turned to his boyfriend, grinning widely at him. "I'd stay here forever if it was."

"What if I wanted you to wake up?" Phil asked, avoiding Dan's gaze. Dan furrowed his eyebrows.

"What do you mean? Don't you want this? Don't you want us?"

"Of course I do, Dan- but I want you to be happy."

"I am happy, don't you see that? I'm happy here- with you."

Phil gave up, sighing and pulling Dan into his arms. "Life ain't what it seems, baby."

"Then don't let me see reality," Dan breathed into his shoulder, holding him tighter. But even if Dan couldn't see reality, he'd soon find out. "Don't let me go."

"I won't," Phil told him, then added under his breath, "but they will if I can't."

-

The full moon was shining across their bodies as the pair sat on the tree branch, rain falling around them. The leaves acted as an umbrella, keeping them dry. But that didn't stop Phil from letting his cheeks get wet when he began to cry. Dan noticed, reaching out and wiping his tears.

"Phil, why are you crying? What is it? Did I do something?"

"Yes." Phil began to cry harder.

"What did I do?" Dan was beyond confused now, dropping his hands.

"You drove. You drove in the rain, even after I told you not to so many times. You didn't look both ways, like you were reminded every day in driver's ed. You weren't wearing your seatbelt, like your parents told you to every week."

"What are you talking about?"

"Dan, you're in a coma."

"What?" Dan froze, eyes widening. "That doesn't make any sense, how am I seeing you? If I'm in a coma, how am I seeing any of this? How do I feel you?"

"Because I'm dead, sweetheart."

Dan's jaw dropped and Phil couldn't even look at him.

"You're lying," Dan responded, shaking his head. He clenched his fists and Phil reached out to touch him but his boyfriend only shoved him away, hopping off the branch and letting his feet hit the grass. "You aren't dead, this is all real and we're fine. We're fine, Phil, right?"

"I died a few days before your car accident. I watched over you, hoping you'd make it. I couldn't do anything as you slowly lost all happiness, I had to sit and stare as the life drained out of you when the car hit you- I fucking watched you die, and I couldn't do anything. Can you imagine that? Imagine being tied down while your favorite person in the whole wide world is killed? You were drunk, Dan, because of my death. And now you're dreaming all of this."

"How did you die?" Daniel asked sternly. Phil wouldn't answer so he repeated the question.

"I drank myself to death," Phil finally told him. "And you did the same, only you survived. We had got in a fight and you went to spend the night at PJ's while I stayed home and drank away the pain. I shouldn't have let you walk out that door, Dan, and I'm so sorry."

Dan was crying now, tugging on his hair. "How long have I been asleep?"

"Months now. You have to wake up or they'll pull the plug."

"But I don't wanna leave; I wanna stay here with you!" Dan protested, reaching forward to grab Phil, but he backed up.

"You need to leave, Dan. You need to keep on living. For me."

"I don't want to live, Phil. I don't have anyone back on Earth. I'm happy here! I'm happy with you!" The brunette cried.

"You tried, kid."

"What's going on?" Dan asked, hearing the voice. Phil looked down.

"It's them. They're gonna pull the plug."

"Who?"

"Your parents. They signed a contract, and today's the deadline."

"They're giving up on me?" Dan shouted. "They don't sound the slightest bit upset! Let me stay here, Phil, they'll pull the plug and we'll be together!"

"We'll be together, Dan, just not today. One day I'll see you, I promise."

"Phil, please don't make me go. "

"Leave, Daniel. I don't want to make you."

"Phil, please!" Dan screamed. "Don't let them do it! I get it now, I know all your reasons for protecting me, from keeping me from noticing the fact that everything is actually a mess. Maybe we are living in a dream, but I don't wanna wake up! Don't make me wake up, I'm begging you!"

Phil shook his head, stepping back. "Go away!" He yelled, and then it seemed to echo.

"You pull the plug, I can't do it- he's my son," his mother's voice rang out. Dan was panicking.

"Don't do this-"

"Go away!"

"But I love you!"

"Leave me alone!" Phil screamed, stomping forward and shoving Dan back. And then everything slowed down, like somebody hit the slow-motion button.

Dan fell back in a slow blur, tears flinging as he stumbled down. His arms reached out and it took everything in Phil to not grab them.

Phil watched as his boyfriend fell, but when he hit the ground, it seemed to cave in- like his body was clashing onto a mattress of a water bed. He sunk in, and then he was falling through, and everything crumpled away with them.

The universe the couple had made for themselves was breaking down, Dan's body falling through a pit of black nothingness. Dan was still crying out for him but it sounded far away, like a microphone. And then there was a long beep, indicating they had pulled the plug. It was Dan's life they caused to go dead.

But then his voice rang out. "Phil? Where's Phil?"

"Oh honey, you're awake!" Mrs. Howell gasped. There was soft laughter, but Dan didn't join in. He only burst out into tears and continued to call out for Phil.

And it was just like when Dan got in that car crash, and Phil had to stay behind and listen to his pleads and listen to the way his heartbeat slowed down to a stop and watch him bleed out like a movie on a screen.

And then everything went white, and Phil was alone all over again.

He could rebuild his own little universe, but his whole world was no longer with him.