phan oneshots

up in flames (angst)

summary: dan is made of fire while phil is simply human. however, every flame must go out eventually.

He couldn't touch him. He couldn't touch Dan and that hurt more than how bad it would if he actually did. He was an orb of fire, a figure of orange and red. Almost seeming like a transparent human on fire. That was the best way to describe him. But more importantly, he was beautiful. But Phil couldn't touch him.

He couldn't hold his hand or kiss him, and when Dan cried, the flame would die out just a bit more. Phil constantly had candles lit, had the fireplace on. They'd been together for years, and his light was much dimmer than it was when they first met.

Phil was scared. He was constantly paranoid, keeping Dan away from water. Dan's fire was more like a metaphorical heat, meaning that if he came to contact with any objects, it wouldn't burst into flames. However with humans, it was very much real.

Phil met him on a camping trip. He had gotten lost and looked for any sight of light, finding Dan wandering. He was drawn to him, like a moth to a flame. In this case, though, it was a human, not a moth. He tried to reach out for him, about to ask for directions, and that contact had stung. He still has marks on his fingers from that burn, but he doesn't want them to go away.

He doesn't want Dan to go away.

Phil felt helpless. He didn't know what to do anymore. Dan was asleep in his bed, and Phil peeked in his room to admire him. It was so dark, his light was so dull.

Dan was dying.

The next morning, the couple was eating when Phil spoke up.

"How do I fix this?"

He didn't even have to explain what he was talking about.

"You can't, Phil. You and I both know that."

"But I've only been with you for six years-"

"That's a long time, baby," Dan chuckled, a sad smile on his face.

"It's not," Phil shook his head. "Not long enough. I wanted to be with you forever."

"You say that as if I'm already gone. I'm still here, Phil, just appreciate that for now. We knew this day would come, it's inevitable. But I'm happy now, I'm in love and I am loved."

The blue-eyed boy sighed. "I'm just scared."

"I am too. I just don't wanna cry because it'll dull my flame faster."

But his tears didn't make a difference. He only seemed to die quicker as the days went on, crying or not. And soon, his light was nearly gone, the brightness resembling an old flashlight. He used to be nearly as bright as the sun, and now he resembled a goddamn flashlight. This was it for him.

"I'm dying," Dan whispered as him and Phil sat on their knees on the living room floor.

Phil felt a tear slip down his cheek, barely managing to respond. "I know," he breathed. "Please don't say goodbye. I don't wanna accept this is real. If you say goodbye, then it's real. This isn't just some nightmare."

"I wish it was a nightmare, but we both know it's not. This is real, Phil, we can't hide anymore. Please let me say all that I need to."

Phil nodded, feeling numb and hopeless.

Dan began. "While on this earth, I managed to learn French. And you, Phil, are the lumière de ma vie. The light of my life, to translate. You kept me bright, you kept me glowing, metaphorically and literally. You kept me alive, baby. But it's time for it to go out."

"Don't go-"

"I love you."

"I love you too, please just-"

"Goodbye, Phil."

"No, no, no-" Phil tried reaching for him, feeling that stinging burn. He squeezed his eyes shut, hissing.

But he loved that pain, he needed it to know he was still there. He clawed at him, sobbing at the emotional and physical pain he was experiencing. Dan was disappearing, and Phil finally clasped their fingers together. It hurt, it hurt more than anything Phil had ever encountered.

And then the pain stopped, and Phil opened his eyes, and the room was dark. There was no light besides the faded candles and warm fireplace. He no longer felt the warmth of his boyfriend, or saw the brightness of his smile.

It was dark. And Phil's hand was painted red from those degree burns. Smoke rose in replacement of where Dan was sitting, setting off the fire alarm. He stayed put, looking at the leftover burnt spot on the wooden floor tracing Dan's figure.

Dan had gone up in flames.