phan oneshots

cemetry drive (angst)

based off Cemetery Drive by My Chemical Romance

summary: dan is depressed and finds a friend in phil, who is just as lonely. but they're too unstable to last.

"I normally don't do this, you know," said Phil, as he took a sip from the bottle of vodka.

"Sure," Dan giggled, swiping the drink from him. Phil playfully swatted him and they both laughed a bit before it died down and phil looked at him.

"So what's up? Why'd you wanna talk?"

Dan took a sip from the alcohol and took a breath. It was pitch black outside, the only shine being from the mausoleum lighting and the moonlight. They were sat on the porch steps, the air a bit chilly.

"The world is very lonely, y'know?" He said, stopping to turn to face Phil. Phil just sat with big eyes, expecting him to keep talking. It seemed like Dan wanted to, as a silence encased them, but nothing came from his lips.

"What's wrong, Dan?" Phil reached out and took the vodka from him, setting it on the grass. Dan forced a smile, looking down at his feet.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" Dan just shook his head, afterwards leaning it on Phil's shoulder. His breath trembled and Phil then realized he was crying, instantly going to rub at his back. "I cant help you if you don't talk to me."

"I️-"

"Who's there?" A voice snarled. Flashlight beams began to dance over the grass and the two boys realized the cops knew someone was trespassing. They jolted up, looking for a place to hide.

"Phil, you have to go home. I'm a rebel, they know that- I'll be fine. You're a perfect kid, don't let them ruin that."

"But-"

"Go. I'll cause a distraction."

There was hesitation in their eyes as they locked. Sadness swept over their glances along with worry. Phil pulled him in for a quick hug, and even though it was a short embrace, there was so much inside of it- so much emotion and words. 'I love you' and 'please be okay' was of a silent conversation between the two, but nothing was spoken.

Phil took one last look at Dan, admiring his big brown eyes that still shined at midnight and his curly brown hair. He mentally snapped a picture, promising he'd make up for this, before beginning to run. Dan rushed off the other direction, drawing the police away. Phil kept running until he was far away, farther away when he wanted to be so close.

That was the last time he saw Dan. He didn't know it then, and he had gone home and his parents yelled at him for sneaking out. But Phil just kept thinking about Dan and he hoped Dan was thinking of him too, but Phil realized he was thinking of something hateful- death.

They found Dan on the bathroom floor in the following morning.

Phil sat in his room, not even feeling his hangover anymore and instead just feeling his heart rip a centimeter more every time he pictured Dan. His mental toll was excruciatingly worse than his physical intolerance.

He went to the mausoleum where he last saw Dan after his parents got him out of his bedroom, apologizing through the door for yelling last night. Phil knew they wouldn't be so sorry if they didn't know what happened, but word spread quickly of Dan's death. They were best friends, it was bound to be heard.

But Dan himself wasn't heard, not even by Phil. Phil shouldve gone with him, should've stayed with him last night because maybe he'd still be alive this morning. Phil picked up the alcohol that still sat, placing his hand over the cement where Dan sat on the steps. He took a sip as a tear shed from his face.

Maybe his death was intentional, or maybe unintentional alcohol poisoning. Phil wasn't sure if he wanted to know. All he knew was that Dan was gone, and he missed him from so far away.