Three Long Years Without John (a Johnlock fanfiction)

John Watson

Author's note: ok so I thought I would make this chapter as John's perspective. So here's John's division everybody!

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Chapter 10

John limped over to his chair where his cane was resting. He picked it up and started walking out the door to go see his therapist. He slowly made his way down the stairs, he stopped at the door. He didn't like going outside that much anymore. He was depressed so everything seemed to make him feel lonely, and sometimes things would remind him of Sherlock. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He stepped out and limped over to the side of the street. He hailed a cab. Finally when one stopped he climbed in and told the driver his destination. He stared out the window the entire time. Not thinking, not watching, just... Nothing. Somedays he would just sit down and stare at the wall and not do anything else. He would be nonexistent for a while. He would forget for a while, but those times never lasted. Once the cab stopped he paid the cabbie and got out. He stared at the two story, grey house in front of him. He limped over to the door and knocked on it weakly. A man with short, light brown hair that stood up a bit answered the door. His green, almost grey, eyes gleamed as he smiled at him,

"Hello John!"

"Dr. Moran." John greeted him giving him a small smile. He let him inside. John walked to the living room and sat down in a chair across from Moran.

"Would you like anything?" He asked him.

"Tea would be fine, thanks." John watched as he made his way to the kitchen. John ran his hands down his face as he tried to stay focused and not zone out again. Dr. Moran came back a while later with two cups of tea, he handed John one and sat back in his chair,

"How was your week John?"

He took a sip, "quiet. I stayed in my flat most of the time. Lestrade said he had a case for me but I told him I wasn't interested." Moran nodded and wrote something down,

"How about at night. Have you been having dreams?"

"Nightmares, yes."

"Do you want to tell me about it?" John was silent for a moment trying to stay calm and not burst into tears,

"It... It was like the other ones. It started out with him smiling at me and I holding his hand. And then his face would get a sad expression and then he would fall. Right in front of me. I try to reach out and grab him but he is already on the ground in a pool of blood. I wake up screaming his name." John trembled remembering the broken form of the man lying on the ground. Moran wrote something else down,

"Any other dreams? Anything besides nightmares?"

"Every dream I have if him is a nightmare, because I wake up to be reminded that he isn't here." John closed his eyes and looked down. Moran took this opportunity to roll his eyes, but went back to his concerned face when John looked up,

"It would just be the two of us. Either sitting around the flat or running through the streets. Nothing much, but I'm with him." Moran stared him up and down then asked,

"Have you been having thoughts about..." He did t have to finish. John knew what he was asking,

"Just the other night."

"What stopped you?"

"Mrs. Hudson. She took the gun away and hid it somewhere."

"Self harm?" John hesitated, then pulled up his sleeve to show him the cut marks running all the way up to his elbow.

"Why do you cut?"

"To forget."

"Does it work?"

"For a while." Moran reached into a bag next to him and pulled out a bottle of pills,

"Here, take one every night. It should stop the nightmares and control your depression." He handed John the small bottle. He took it and put it in his pocket,

"Thank you."

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"Goodbye John." Dr. Moran waved as John walked out. John tensed up a bit as he remember the last words Sherlock said to him,

"Y-yeah." He muttered and got into a cab to go back to the flat. As soon as he couldn't see him anymore, Moran's smile curled into a smirk. He laughed,

"Too easy." Oh those pills would stop his nightmares alright. They would stop his heart.

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Sorry it took a while, but how did you like it? Poor John! What will happen to him? Ah! Please vote, comment and share. Thank you for reading!

-JM