C.h-
We were going on our forth and final week at the hotel. It felt like we had been there months. It was our temporary home where things were happening that none of us could explain.
Paige didn't text or call the next day, or the next, or the next. Maybe she needed space, we had basically been with each other constantly since I got here. But it wasn't like her to not contact me at all. So I decided to go to her to make sure everything was okay.
9pm -
I smiled at the now very familiar 93 pendant on the door. A few minutes passed before she slowly opened the door.
"Hi" I said gently. "Can I come in?" I gave her a small smile.
She stared at me. "No."
I furrowed my brows in confusion. "W-what d'you mean?"
"I don't want you coming in." she replied simply.
"Babe? What did I do?"
"Don't call me babe either." Her voice was tired and quiet.
"Paige.." I spoke softly, "Can we talk?" I said as a man in a suit passed behind me in the hallway sending us a suspicious look.
She continued to stare at me before she let out a sigh and opened the door slightly more to let me in.
I took a seat on the bed beside her.
"What's going on?" I gently pulled back a strand of hair out of her face.
She didn't respond.
I turned her cheek to me and leaned down to give her a small kiss. Her face remained unamused, so I kissed her again.
She grabbed my face in her hands and pulled me closer as she kissed me roughly.
She stood up keeping my face in her hands and pulling me up with her. I tried to keep up with her quick pace and abrupt movements. She pulled me over to the wall and pressed her back up against it, pulling me so close that my body was pinning hers up.
A sudden sharp pain came across my cheek as I felt her hand come in contact with my face. She hit me hard, startling me so much I almost fell over. I touched my hand to the spot looking up at her with confusion. She grabbed my hands and wrapped them around her neck. She whined into my lips and I couldn't tell if she was about to laugh or cry.
"Hit me." She said firmly.
"What?" I pulled my hands away trying to understand what was going on.
"Hit me." She repeated grabbing my hands and using them to push her self into the wall, letting her head smack against it.
"Push me, punch me, slap me, do something." She screamed.
"Paige!" I yelled "Stop it." I looked at her frantically.
"Fucking do something." She screamed as her eyes flooded with tears. She grabbed the collar of my jacket in her hands.
"Just- hurt me already." She said as her voice cracked and tears poured out of her eyes. She dropped down onto the bed and sobbed into her hands. She cried so hard she was gasping for air.
I caught my breath as I sat down next to her. I had never seen anyone so defeated. My eyes were wide with fear and worry as I watched her cry, unsure if I should touch her or say something.
"What... did I do?" I said slowly and quietly as my eyes watered just watching her.
She wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater.
"Nothing. That's the problem."
she sniffled.
"What do you mean?" I spoke cautiously.
"I'm in love with you, Calum." Her wet eyes blinked up to mine. She said the words like she had never said them before and my heart exploded right there.
My face softened as I stared at her trying to absorb her words.
"But you're gonna leave-". She added before I could say anything back.
"And when you do, I'd rather hate you then love you. It's much easier."
She said softly.
"Y-you love me?" was all I could get out.
She looked away.
"But- but when I leave this place, you could come with me right? I could take you away from here."
I said nervously.
This whole time there was no question in my head that when we left I would take her with me and pursue what we had. In the real world.
"Calum." she whined quietly. Famous band member's girlfriend? That's not me. I can't walk red carpets and walk out of bars into crowds of paparazzi. I can't worry about us being in public for more than 5 minutes because you might be mobbed. I know what your life is like, and it's not for me."
It was like everything came falling down around me as she spoke. This girl I had imagined a real relationship with suddenly had no interest in that with me. My heart broke as she continued to speak.
"You don't know what my life is like!" I snapped. "It may be chaotic at times but it's incredible and I love what I do." I yelled.
"Famous band member's girlfriend?" I looked at her feeling hurt and insulted. "Is that what you think of this?"
"Of course not. But that's what they'll paint me as." She said still letting tears fall.
"Who the fuck cares what they paint us as. I want you with me. I love you." My breath hitched in my throat at my own words. I loved her. And that was scary.
She shook her head at me.
"I'm not put- together or classy or glamorous, I'm a fucking mess, and I'm not ready for something like that." She said harshly.
"I'm not going to leave you here alone." I looked at her speaking slowly.
"I'm not giving you a choice." She said breaking eye contact with me.
"Paige." I looked at her hopelessly, my heart was broken, I couldn't believe what she was saying and that it was actually her saying these things.
She looked up at me, her hands shaking as I took them in mine.
"Please don't do this." I was on the verge of breaking down.
"I'm sorry." she looked away again, 10 seconds of eye contact brought a flood of tears back to her eyes.
I knew then, that she didn't want to love me. And that's when I had to leave. She pulled her hands away from mine making it easier. But I couldn't take my eyes off of her face. I leaned closer to her to give her one last kiss but she stopped me with her hand on my chest.
"Please don't kiss me." she cried "I can't do it."
I knew it would make it harder for the both of us so I stood up and forced myself to turn away and walk out the door.
