A World Like This [1]

[31]

Edited 1/26/17

We went back to walking along the dreadful tracks again. I hadn't left Carl's side. I just witnessed another person's death. We should have saved him. We couldn't, I knew that. All I've been able to think about was that poor man in the glasses.

What was his name? Maybe John or Michael? Maybe it was Jacob or Kyle?

Did he have a group? Did he have a family?

Did he turn? Or did they completely devour him?

"You okay?" Carl asked. I turned and looked at him. I didn't say anything, I sighed and looked down at the tracks beneath me. "Ava, talk to me, please."

"I'm fine, it's just... You're always asking if I'm okay."

"Well you keep giving me the impression that you aren't." Carl said to me.

"That's because I'm not." I whispered. I continued staring at the ground as we walked, I didn't want to see his reaction. I want to be okay but I'll never be the same, I don't think I could ever go back to being the person I was when I first met him, that girl, she was long gone.

"We can talk about it, you just have to let me in." He grabbed my hand and stopped walking making me stop with him. I looked over at Michonne and Rick who were walking not too far ahead of us, they wouldn't be too hard to catch up to.

"Carl... I-I killed someone, back at that house." Carl sighed at my words, sadly he said,

"I know."

"I can't seem to get his face out of my head."

"Ava, if you didn't do it my dad would be dead, you'd be dead. You didn't have a choice. I know it's hard but there are some things you have to do to survive now. You don't have to be okay with what you did you just have to accept it." I nodded my head and hugged him.

"What would I do without you?" I asked him. He laughed slightly and pulled away. He looked down at me with a cute grin on his face. I never get tired of seeing his smile, and I haven't seen it in a while, not like this. I loved being the person to bring a smile to his face; it made my stomach flip and my heart race. He leaned down and pressed his chapped lips to mine. It was short but It still felt like the first time.

"I love you." Carl told me. I smiled at him, knowing I'll never get sick of those words.

"I love you too." He smiled too and quickly kissed me once more. "Carl?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"Here." I said handing him my knife.

"Why are you-"

"I know you can protect me, I've never..." I sighed. "I've never relied on anyone to protect me before and I'm going to have to get used to it. But I know you can do it. I also know you're worried I'll hurt myself but I swear Carl I'll never do it again, I love you." I said to him. He smiled at me and handed my knife back to me. "I thought-"

"Look, I want to protect you Ava, I want to make sure you're safe at all times but I know that you can handle yourself. And I trust you." He told me. Before I could say another word, Rick turned around and called for us to hurry up.

*~*~*~*

We had to find somewhere to stay but had no luck of finding any houses so no comfy bed tonight. We did find a car though. Luckily the car was empty when we found it. Rick and Michonne sat at the fire outside as Carl and I were in the back of the car. Whoever this car belonged to left blankets in it which I'm thankful for on a cold night like this.