A World Like This [1]

[32]

Edited 1/27/17

The world around me was a black fog, a haze. I began to see small rays of light seeping through my eyelids as I tried to open my eyes. I could feel the cool metal of the car against my back. I groaned a bit before my eyes finally snapped open and I gained consciousness. I looked beside me to see Daryl staring right back at me, a look of concern and relief covered his features.

"Thank God yer okay." He said to me.

"What happened?" I asked. I looked away from Daryl for a moment, a split second and noticed dead bodies surrounding us. I looked back to Daryl and for the first time since I opened my eyes I noticed the blood on his hands.

"I killed him..." Daryl said quietly. I nodded my head, already coming to that conclusion myself. I didn't know what to say and I was pretty sure Daryl didn't either. We sat there in complete silence. The one thing I hate about myself is that I question everything. My mind spins with questions until my brain begins to hurt. I question every little thing about life. But there is one question that I've been wanting to ask Daryl for as long as I can remember.

"Why'd you leave?"

"Huh?" Daryl asked. My question came out of nowhere but I've been dying to know. These past few months one question continued to keep my up at night.

"My mom, why'd you leave?"

"Avery, I didn't leave yer mom. She left me." Again, my head began to spin in circles. She left him? Did she know she was pregnant with me? Was I already born? Did he know about me at all?

"I just assumed..."

"That I'd leave her?"

"I mean not that, it's just if she knew she was pregnant, why would she want me to grow up without my father, my real father?" I asked him. Daryl sighed as he looked back down at the pavement below us.

"Look Ava, when yer mother and I were together I followed yer uncle basically everywhere. We went wherever our car would take us, we did some bad things and I'm sure yer mom just wanted what was best for ya." He told me.

"Sometimes I like to think about what would have happened if you two stayed together, what our lives would have been like." I told him.

"Your mom deserved better than me Ava."

"Well she didn't get better, she got a drunk bastard who couldn't protect her. She would have been better off if she stayed with you, and so would I." Daryl didn't say another word we just sat there in silence. I looked over at him, I took notice to the amount of blood that covered his hands and his arms. I've never seen him like this. He protected me, he did. He would have protected my mom, he could have if she would have just stayed

"Can I ask you another question?" I asked dad. He nodded his head, telling me yes. He looked over at me, I winced at the sight of his eye, black and swollen shut. Those guys, they hurt him, they did it to him. I take it back I don't give a fuck that I killed that man, Lou. They were bad people and I hope they rot in hell. "Why were you with those guys?" Dad signed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I didn't know what they were." I nodded my head and stood up.

"I'm going to go to sleep." I told him. He nodded his head and I opened the backseat to the car. I saw Michonne and Carl laying there. They both looked over at me. I didn't know what to say so I forced a smile. They didn't smile back, I figured, something else happened after I passed out.

"Michonne do you mind if I talk to Ava alone?" Carl asked. Michonne nodded her head and left the car. Carl held his arms out for me and I rushed to him, tears began spilling from my blue eyes. Carl had blood on his cheek which really made me question what happened.