phan oneshots

Nocturnal Calls & Chipotle

ayee inspired by true events
also mostly dialogue because that's much more fun to write :))

Words: 800
Alternative Universe

Phil was awoken by his phone ringing at three a.m.

Groggily reaching over to look at the device, it read an unknown number and, for some reason, Phil accepted the call.

From the other line, a gasp was omitted, followed by weeping sort of sound.

"Hello?" Phil inquired.

"He broke up with me," a voice says. "He came to my fucking house and told me he was talking me to Chipotle and make a wrong turn and dumped me off at a park claiming it wasn't working out. Two years. Two fucking years, Chris."

Phil, first confused by the unknown stranger calling, then realized it was because of Chris Kendall being an idiot. At a party, Phil and Chris accidentally swapped phones, which somehow made all of Chris' phone calls get redirected to Phil's phone if Chris declined or if his phone was dead.

The person sobbed again. "And he fucking promised me Chipotle."

"Okay," Phil said. "Um. I'm Phil, a friend a Chris'. Long story why I'm on the phone anyways. Okay, um. Everything's going to be okay. Trust me. He's an asshole for dumping you and for promising you Chipotle and not getting it. Two years is a long time, but you deserve someone better than him.
What's your name anyways?"

"Dan," he choked out.

"Okay, Dan. What was his name?"

"R-Ryan."

"Did he ask you out or did you ask him out?" Phil asked calmly.

"He did in s-senior year," Dan choked.

"And why did you say yes?"

Phil was answered with silence. "Dan, are you there?"

"Um, I don't know. I never liked b-blondes really," Dan replied. "Except Evan Peters."

Phil chuckled slightly. "Okay. Once you were together, did he do anything you absolutely adored?"

"Um. He brought me to Chipotle at times," Dan snorted a bit. "That's really it."

Phil snorted as well. "I bet someone out there can do a million times better than just be your transportation to Chipotle."

Dan smiled.

"Alright, Dan? Get some sleep now. He's not worth you loosing sleep. That's tumblr's job."

"Alright. What was your name again?"

"Phil. Phil Lester," Phil replied, grinning slightly.

"Goodnight, Phil. Thank you."

-

six months later

"Chris, I don't know --"

"C'mon, Phil. It's just a party," Chris said into the phone. "They're supposed to be fun."

"You have bad wifi. I'm not going," Phil replied. "Thanks for the invitatio--"

"Please, Phil," Chris whined. "I have some cute guy friends that swing your way."

"Chris, plea--"

"I'll play Muse the entire time! I don't know! Please just come!" Chris pleaded.

"Alright, why do you want me there so much if all I'm going to do is bother you about the wifi?"

"Umm. There may be a certain Dan Howell going to such party who asked about you last week."

"The party is at seven, right?" Phil inquired.

"Yeah," Chris replied extending the "h."

"See you then," Phil said, hanging up the phone.

Seven p.m. approached sooner than fathomable in Phil's perspective. Knocking on Chris' door, Phil was greeted by Chris' close friend PJ in a green party hat.

"Philip!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, causing the drink in his left hand to slightly spill over. Being pulled into an unexpected hug, Phil froze. After being ushered inside and handed a drink by PJ, Phil was suddenly ditched and found himself awkwardly in the corner again for what seemed to be hours passing, yet was only minutes in reality.

"Um, hi."

Phil's gaze turned off his Twitter feed onto the tall brown haired boy in front of him. Holy shit.

He's on fucking fire.

"Um, hi," Phil replied.

"Are you Phil?" the guy questioned, caramel eyes locking with Phil's blue.

"Uh, y-yeah," Phil stuttered.

"I'm Dan. From the phone thingy a little while ago. Thanks for that if you remember it, but if you don't that's totally fine and all." Dan's ran through his hair, then realized he probably messed his hair up so began frantically fixing his fringe.

"Oh, I remember. How's everything with Ryan was it?"

Dan, surprised by Phil recalling the phone call in the middle of the night, widened his eyes then replied. "We haven't talked again. I haven't had Chipotle again. Single life is good."

"Are you missing it?" Phil inquired. "Chipotle, I mean."

"Of course."

"Want to ditch this party and get some Chipotle?" Phil questioned.

"Sounds good to me."

-

thanks to that senior in my video editing & media class for talking about how her boyfriend promised her chipotle then dumped her off at a park and thanks to my sister and her friend for switching phones and having each other's calls forwarded :)