Wish you were mine

80. Love makes you stupid

PENELOPE

As the warm water cascaded over my body, I tilted my head back and closed my eyes.

For the first time in a long while, I felt... light.

Not completely healed.

Not completely free.

But lighter.

The steam filled the bathroom, wrapping around me like a comforting embrace as I allowed myself to relive yesterday.

Our date.

The beach.

The waves.

The way Sean had looked at me as though I was the only thing that existed in his world.

A smile tugged at my lips.

Yesterday hadn't been perfect.

It had been better.

Because it had been real.

For years, I had convinced myself that love meant sacrifice.

Compromise.

Adjusting.

Giving up little pieces of yourself to make another person happy.

But somewhere along the way, I had forgotten something important.

A relationship wasn't supposed to be carried by one person alone.

It wasn't meant to feel like a constant negotiation where only one side kept giving.

And I was done with that version of myself.

Done shrinking.

Done pretending.

Done becoming someone else for the sake of being loved.

The broken girl I had once been wasn't someone I wanted to erase anymore.

She had cried.

She had run away.

She had made mistakes.

But she had survived.

And because she survived...

I was standing here today.

Stronger.

Wiser.

Still stubborn.

Still imperfect.

Still me.

The realization settled warmly in my chest.

I turned off the shower and stepped out, wrapping a fluffy towel around myself.

After drying my hair, I walked into my closet.

Rows of clothes greeted me.

Some belonged to the woman I had become.

Others belonged to the girl I used to be.

Today...

I wanted both.

My fingers drifted across the hangers before stopping on a blush-pink satin blouse.

A soft smile appeared on my lips.

Pink.

The color I had stopped wearing after heartbreak.

The color that reminded me too much of who I used to be.

Sweet.

Hopeful.

Hopelessly in love.

For years I had avoided it.