An Accidental Murder

Chapter 10

"Ryan!  Ryan, stop it!" I yelled hysterically, gripping the dashboard.  "What are you doing?  Why are you doing this?" 

"I'm going to the police, Amber.  Then you can turn yourself in and I'll tell my side of the story and go home to sleep in my comfy bed."

"You're acting really ridiculous.  I don't want to go to the police station.  Stop driving, please." 

"You keep saying you want to tell the cops.  I'm going to help you make that happen."

I could see the station in the distance and I immediately began to hyperventilate. What would I say?  Would they let me go home first before they arrested me?  Would they believe it was an accident?  What would Ryan tell them? How would I explain to my parents?

Oh this is too much, just too much.  I couldn't catch my breath.  My chest felt so  heavy.  I could very well have died at any moment.

"Ryan, please!" I begged, breathlessly. "I'm sorry for saying what I said.  I don't want to leave you.  I don't want to tell the police.  I just want to be happy. Please turn around and go back to school."

"No, that would be a bad idea.  We can't have this hanging over our heads right? It's better to just get it over with."

Before I could blink back the tears, he had pulled into the parking lot and put the car in park. 

"Do you need me to help you in?"

"No...I don't want to go, Ryan. Stop this.  I'm begging you."

"Alright...I'll go in and tell them myself. Be right back, babe."

Oh what did I do?  I wanted to run somewhere, but where would I go?  They'd know where I lived, they'd know everything about me. I was finished. This was really the end.  This is what my life had become after all that I'd worked for.  

I had only begun to imagine life inside of four lonely walls for how ever many years it would be.  I couldn't believe that Ryan would do this to me - that he'd turn me in.  But it was true - I knew it as soon as I saw several police officers rushing from the building toward the car. 

I couldn't catch my breath.  I was starting to feel faint and my vision began to blur.  Before I knew what was happening an officer had opened the door and was pulling me out. They laid me down on the hard asphalt.  Someone was shouting orders about getting a paper bag.  Someone else asked if they needed to call a bus and another was telling me to take slow breaths and count.  

"Has she ever hyperventilated before?  Does she have a history of panic attacks?" One officer was asking.

"What about asthma, does she have any history of asthma?" another officer asked.

Before long I felt myself fading out. My eyes grew unbearably heavy and I didn't fight off the need to close them. I guessed dying from lack of oxygen was better than the other option...wasn't it?