Disorder (Ayato x reader)

We had to let it go

She walked into the big room with her high heels. She hated them so much, but she never showed it. She was wearing a long dress with some light blue lace.
She didn't like this mission, at all. She didn't want to be here as well. Eto told Ayato that he have to sleep with one girl which her father know where our place is and shut his mouth. He won't rape her, she wants it as well, but he will bit her, to give her father a warning.
He didn't like it neither, but he was the only one she liked. So he has to do it.
They can't be together at the party.
She watched as he was talking with her, flirting and touching. She begged him not to do it, but it was something he has to do.
Touching her, whispering things in her ear, making her blush as hell. This bad feeling, the tears she's holding. No, why they are dancing now? And why they are laughing now?
It hurts in so many ways. When he looked at her face, he just turn around, like she's a stranger now.
'He deceive me' she thought.
They walked into a room and close the door. She could feel her heart Shattered into many pieces. She walked out, the tears going down her face. She just can't stop them.
"It hurts" she whispered as she took off her heels.

 

Going on the ice cold ground, she just didn't raise her head. She felt alone. 'Why do I have to suffer so much?' she thought.
"Oi Baka! Where are you going" she heard Ayato's voice.
she turn around and his eyes went bigger at the tears going down her face. "Shit...I can't stop them..." she whispered as she tried to stop and wipe them off, but seeing Ayato just did worse.
"Are you crying because of what I did?" he asked her, getting pissed off. "It hurts..." she said, choking from the tear.
"You know that I didn't want to do that, so stop it already" he yelled and turn around. "I'm terrified every day... I want to make thing right...and I don't want to lose you..." – "Are you fucking stupid? Get your ass back home and just don't talk shit." He said and walked away.

***
She was having a nightmare's lately, and ayato was really pissed off. It feels like he doesn't want to be with Y/N anymore.
She was depressed and most of the time was in her room.
She felt so lonely, like when she was younger.
One of the days Ayato came back when he was really pissed off, and he fight with her. Screaming things that she doesn't want to hear and making her suffer, caused her to run out crying again.
What is wrong? What is the problem? She felt like she was the problem, like everything that goes wrong it's her fault.
Everything was better when she didn't meet him, when she was just with her friend, and was just enjoying her food. She changed so much. She HATE herself.

"Mmmmm~ long time no seen sister" she heard a giggle from a familiar voice. "Go away" said Y/N, trying not to cry.
"What is wrong?" she asked in an innocent voice as she got closer. Y/N just backed off and didn't say anything. Raven knows what to say to make you feel even worse with just few words.

"Father wants me to bring you back, he missed you" Raven smiled.
"I'm NOT coming back" She said, feeling pissed.
"Hihi~~ I knew it, so I just have to give you a little taste~~" she said as she bring out something "Of what will happened if you won't come back." She smiled.

It was her kagune. It's hers.
She felt the tremor in her hands. Her pupils have become minor. Her heart started beating in a frantic pace. Tears streamed down her face already. "We are all made of broken parts, we are broken from the start" whispered Raven in her ear. She couldn't even talk, so she just took her head and scream, until she couldn't scream anymore.

I will keep quiet; you won't even know I'm here.
You won't hear anything or see.
I will not bother you anymore.
I will just go away, like nothing ever happened.
You will never know what hurt you.

After Kaneki told Ayato everything, Ayato was in front of her room, begging her to open the door. Kaneki saved her from her sister's painful things. He heard her scream. "Y/n, please, I want to talk to you" – still not an answer. It has been a three days now.

"I know you won't believe me, but I want to talk with you, please, Kitty, I'm really worried" he whispered. Still hearing no answer he just talked to himself. "I'm the worse, I know it. I can't do anything. I hate making you feel like this. I hate myself".

*Click*

"Y/n?" he whispered to find her sitting on the bed, with dead expression on her  face. He touched her hand, to feel how cold she was. "Why are you like this..."he asked himself as he hugged her. His warmness spreading in her body, trying  to make her feel alive again. "You don't need to worry" she finally said. "What do you mean?" – "I know you don't feel the same, I don't need it. I don't want to suffer anymore" she said as she pushed him a little.
"It's fine now" she smiled a little smile. "Stop talking bullshit" he said. "I  love you, and I won't give up on you" he kissed her lips gently, making her heart start pounding.
"What do you mean?" she asked. "Let's move away, and live together" he whispered  in her ear, making her blush a bit. "All of a sudden...it can't be..." she said. "Well,I didn't slept with that girl in the end, because I didn't want to let you down, because of it we moving away so CCG won't find us. So let's move away from everything, just you and i" 
Tears coming out her eyes as she kiss him deeply as a "yes"

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