Lewis' Book of Reviews and Writing Advice

Action

     My apologies, Ink Jars, Prof. Lewis has been pretty busy lately, but will attempt to fulfill some of his promises today.

***

BAM! The bomb went off, shaking the ground. Sam fell to his knees in the tall meadow grass. 'Must. Get. Out.' He thought.

Sweat beaded on his forehead as he regained his footing and stumbled forward. The tree line (safety) seemed miles away. If Sam could only get there, he could follow the river back home. He closed his eyes, clenched his jaw and ran faster--or tried to. The pain under his right lung grew stronger making it harder to breath.

Thud. A knife hit the ground in front of his feet. Sam stopped abruptly, dodging it. His breath thundered in his head as he pushed himself.

"Kid!" a man laying on his back called desperately. "Kid! Come help me! Please!"

Sam couldn't stop. He denied the call. 'But I can't just leave him, can I?' He kept running. The man kept calling. Sam stopped, turned and --eyeing the soldiers advancing in their tanks--reached a hand down to the man.

"How can I help you?" he asked. His heart hammered in his chest and his vision darkened.

The man simply smirked and latched onto Sam's ankle. Instantly, Sam knew he'd been tricked. The man drew a knife from his pocket and brought it forward as if to cut him with it. Sam jerked his foot free and continued running through the meadow to the forest.

BAM! Another mine EXPLODED behind him, forcing him to the ground.

***

And that, Ink Jars, is a small and simple example of action. Now, I'm not very great at this myself, so we'll be learning together. Action is extremely important in most genres. It holds the audience/readers' attentions and causes them to think. It will cause some to bite their knuckles, others to scream, others to hold their breath, and even some to hold tightly to whatever is closest to them. In action, we want to use the least amount of words to keep the scene going. AVOID long paragraphs like the plague. That means we have to use the best words for the scenario.

EXAMPLE:

1.) Sweat beaded on his forehead as he regained his footing and stumbled forward.

2.) Sweat beaded on his forehead as he regained his footing and ran forward.

What's the difference? You undoubtedly noticed the first sentence had the word "stumbled" and the second "ran." That's a slight change for such a big difference. Just one word re-paints the whole scene! Use the word that says exactly what you're trying to bring across the readers' mind.

This is a hard one which I have yet to conquer, but you don't want to use a ton of "past tense" words.

EXAMPLE:

1.) Sam stumbled through the field and a man called to him.

2.) Stumbling through the field, a man called to Sam.

You want to action to feel like it's EXPLODING around the reader--as if they're right next to Sam while he stumbles across the battle field. Make sure you add the action words. I believe I've mentioned this in other chapters, but I'll press it once again. Use words like: Bam, creak, slam, smash, crash, click, slice, shing, Boom, etc. They'll add a silent noise to the story.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on adding action. Comment or message me your advice. Next, I'll do a chapter on emotion! Good luck, Ink Jars!