Es.E.Ex

Let me explain? •

I stooped down and picked up Calvin's phone. I looked at the picture in disgust with a message attached to it saying "Look what your sl*t girlfriend is up to haha" and deleted it. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away.

I stared into his eyes for a minute...

Here stands possibly the man of my dreams, no way was I going to go down like this.

Everyone still shocked, looked at me in confusion.

"I'm not leaving without you, Calvin!" I said to him angrily.

He looked down on me all I could hear was a slight "no" escaping his mouth.

No?

I wasn't going to take "No" for an answer.

"Thank you for the dinner, Calvin and I will be going home now."

Chloe startled by what I said, yelled "No he isn't"

"Goodnight" I said calmly as I grabbed Calvin by his arms and tugged him out the door to his car.

"Stop it, Soleil! What do you think you're doing!?"

"I F*CKED UP!" I yelled.

"You don't say" He says to me sarcastically.

"Can we talk in the car? Please? Let me explain?"

"No, it's right here, right now, or never"

I took another deep breath as I proceed to explain. Hopefully he can understand why...

"At the party, Mike wanted to talk to me and I told him to make it quick... I swear! He pulled me into that room and started to kiss me. I admit, I had a little to drink so my head was a little...maybe a lot slow. I saw a flash of light but I didn't pay attention to it. I did in no way did this to hurt you or was a 'thing' I did behind your back. I love you so much Calvin. I would never want to hurt you. That's why I've been acting so weird lately...I didn't know how to bring it up because of how scared I felt. I'm saying this with all the honest truth."

I was trembling just explaining what had happened. This was an emotion I had never experienced before.

I don't even think 'fear' could come close to what I was feeling.

"Why would you feel scared to talk to me? And what did Mike wanted to talk to you about"

Oh f*ck...

I can't hide it anymore, I can't risk losing Calvin over Mike.

"Mike came after me...After me and you were intimate in your office and you left for a meeting...Mike came in and...and..came up on me and confessed to me. I told him no, he questioned me on why I love you and not him...He didn't do anything physically. I didn't say anything because you were working so hard on the party and I didn't wanted to ruin your vibe."

"Are you serious?" He said to me confusingly.

"It's the honest truth."

"You don't expect me to just say 'okay' and we move on right?"

If only life was that simple...

"No...but I don't want us to end, it can't." I said pleading.

"I'm going to drop you home, give me some time to think, then I can see where we stand."

Time to think? That only means one thing and one thing only.

It's...

Over...

"Time? Sure, take all the time you need..."

I wish I had the power to go back in time...

We got in the car and the ride to my house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

The entire ride he had an empty look in his eyes. To think that I cause such a cheerful man to look this empty hurts my soul.

After that dreadful car ride we finally arrived in front of my condo. I opened the car door but he stayed in the car.

I walked over to the drivers side to say bye but...He wasn't even looking my way. He had started up the engine when I said

"Can I get a goodnight kiss...please?"

I don't know why I just asked that, I must looked so stupid to him...

"Nevermi-"

"Fine" He whispered.

I didn't wanted to say anything else before I ruin the chance I have.

I leaned in for the kissed but all he did was turn his head towards me.

Our lips touched and I wanted to savour every moment of it. What I wished would last forever was cut short when he pulled his head back.

As our lips parted, the emptiness remained in his eyes.

"I love you Calvin, I will always love you and that won't be our final kiss. I won't accept that."

"Bye" He said as he quickly drove off.

I grabbed my chest and said to myself;
"It won't be the last time" over and over again.

Tears flowed down my face uncontrollably as I made my way to my bed.

I'm so foolish...

I stripped my close off and sat down naked on the side of my bed and when into a deep thought.

My life is over.

The man, the only man I've ever loved hates me.

My heart shattered with all these unbearable thoughts.

I started to touch all over my body thinking how I'll never feel his touch ever again.

His soft manly hands running down on my face, cupping my breast, squeezing my thighs, holding me...

Making love to me...

I stared rubbing on my cl*t, I asked myself.

Is this what I'm going to have to do to feel his touch? Pleasure by nostalgia?

I want him, his everything.

I want him now, penatrating, making love to me.

There is no one else I could imagine giving it all up to...

I will get my baby back.

Who am I kidding? This isn't going to be in any way easy...

Though it won't, I will never give up until I win my Latin prince back!

My heart aches only for Calvin J. Rodriguez.