I Chose You- A Danisnotonfire / Dan Howell FanFic

Chapter 3: First Impressions

"Dan what the heck happened to your face?" Chris laughed as he opened the door. I sighed, fed up.

"There were gun shots and screaming, we got scared and I fell over." I said harshly, and Chris held up his hands in defense. 

"yeah, you should have gotten a taxi, mate." Peej said and Phil looked at me and his jaw dropped. 

"It's bleeding, you were going to do a video tomorrow weren't you?"

I shrugged. "I'll still do it, just tell them I fell over." I collapsed on their sofa. "I'm so tiredddd!"

"Congratulations on the radio show guys, we listened in for a bit until the songs became too much."

"Ugh my life." I turned around on their sofa and yelled into the cushions. We had some fun at our friend's house before calling a taxi and going home. I lay in my bed, wide awake for what seemed like hours, eyes prickling as I considered my existence. I was trying to find that feeling of belonging, why I was born on this crazy, mind blowing planet. But after the radio show, I thought I'd find some sense of gratification to myself. I've hated myself, everything about me for a long time now. I don't deserve this show- I don't deserve my YouTube channel, I don't deserve Phil as my best friend. I should be back at home where I belong. Going no where in life because I feel as if I'm doing the same thing, only in London now.

What am I doing?

Where am I going? 

When will I find that one thing that will change my life forever? I thought the radio show would be it, but is it? What is the thing that will change my life so much? I groaned and made a tweet.

"It's always at 4am do I end up having deep and meaningful thoughts."

I rubbed my face with my hands, trying to get to sleep. It wasn't until another hour which sleep finally stopped me worrying.

The next morning I woke up early again, which was really unnatural for me, and I went outside for a wander. I headed down the road which I had fallen over, and passed the pub which we went to, and found myself in central London, ordering a Starbucks. 

"Oh, it's you again." A female voice came from behind me, and I jumped out of my skin, spinning around. The girl from the night before, I think, was behind me, a guitar in one hand. "What happened to your face?"

"I er...fell over." I looked at the guitar. "You play?"

She nodded. "Yeah, just one of those performers you find along the London Eye."

"I think I dropped some money into your case last time I was in London, actually." I mumbled. "Want me to buy you something?"

She shook her head and stepped around me to order, while I got my coffee. "I'm good." We ended up walking back to the London Eye, and she told me about herself. Her name was Jess, had a sister and a brother who lived with her in their family home nearby.

"Our parents divorced when we were kids. Dad died last year, and it's been tough on us. Mom hasn't supported us since the divorce, so I come here to play, earn a bit of cash. Liam works too."

For some reason, maybe because she opened up to me, I opened up to her too. "I do You Tube videos, and earn a bit from that. I'd like to say it's fulfilling, that the fan base and support makes me happy, but I don't think I'd still be here if it wasn't for my best friend, Phil."

"Phil must be a good person." Jess mumbled, and I nodded. 

"He's really great. I bet he'd love to meet you."

"Is that an invite?" She smirked, and I nodded, pulling my phone out. 

"Sure, our place is in a massive mess right now because we've only just moved in, if you don't mind the clutter."

She shook her head as we swapped numbers. "I can help you unpack if you like."

"Awesome." I smirked and we parted ways. 

My coffee was only half drunk and now cold when I got back to the apartment, and I announced to Phil that we were having a guest over. 

"Who is it?"

"That girl who played at the London Eye, remember?"

"Dan! You don't know if she's a serial murderer! That was months ago!"

"Oh, no, she's the same girl we bumped into last night too."

Phil rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Dan. You fill me with confidence."

JESS POV

As soon as I decided it was too late to carry on performing, I headed back home and placed my guitar on my bed as I headed into the kitchen. My sister, Lia, was on her laptop and I smiled as I walked over to her. 

"Hey, sis, can you do me a favour?"

"What is it?" She huffed, but I ignored her. 

"Search 'Danisnotonfire' for me."

"The Youtuber? Why?" Lia's fingers floated across the keys and clicked on one of his videos.

"I'm going over to his later."

Lia was quiet as we watched a video about personal space. I laughed, and Lia got off her chair.

"I'm going for a shower." She mumbled, and I grabbed her wrist, making her wince. 

"Have you been cutting again? Seriously, Lia." She bit her lip and pulled her sleeves down.

"It's none of your business."

"Look, I'm your sister. Liam's worried about you as well."

"I'm fine." She walked off and I sighed. Lia had a tougher time dealing with the past few years than us. With no friends to turn to, she found herself in the wrong crowd, doing drugs, smoking, drinking and then the cutting began. I've tried to stop her but she was completely lost, and I didn't know what to do. Liam's very protective, and last night when she came home a drunken mess, Liam ran out into the streets and started shooting randomly into the air, scaring her friends away. I wasn't there at the time, but that's Liam for you. Not only do I have to save up to provide for my siblings and myself, I also end up saving for the time when Liam needs me to bail his ass out of jail. 

"Oh to be 19 again..." I mumbled, clicking on another video. Maybe I could ask Dan what I should do.

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