Short Stories

Roommates

Coleman

         "Whoa whoa whoa. Get your shit off my side!"I yelled jokingly as I walked into m- errr our bedroom.

"Well excuse me! I'll just move my backpack over to my side as long as you get your fucking toy out of my dresser." Skylar shouted back at me, turning back to her book. 

"I took th- I mean, I don't have one! I'm a straight man, goddammit."

"Sure you are." I glared at her before tackling her onto the bed. 

"You doubt me?" I mumbled, straddling her to the bed. I held a devilish smirk on my face as I hovered over her.

"I-" 

The door slammed open and I turned my head, seeing my mom in the doorway. 

"Coleman Fredric Young! You do not treat a girl like that!" I got off of Skylar and sat next to her. She was smirking while I scowled angrily.

"So you're saying that if she was a guy, it would be okay?" I demanded.

She shrugged, "If she was a guy, she wouldn't be getting pregnant, now would she?" 

"Well mom, you have to consider mPreg. Male pregnancy may not be that common, but Skylar as a man, could have the reproductive organs that would allow her to reproduce with a man." I explained, confusing myself entirely.

"Fine! Then don't have sex at all. Thanks for the explanation. Skylar, if he tries to stick anything in anywhere I give you permission to kick his ass." Mom left us, cracking the door slightly and signaling that she doesn't trust us. Well, me anyway.

"Why does my mother like you better?" I yelled. Sky shrugged and kissed my cheek before jumping over onto her bed,

I smirked, tempted to follow her.

We were clearly bipolar roommates. Definitely a love/hate relationship.

"I'm going to the kitchen, want anything?" I asked lazily, walking towards the door.

"Not from you." I smirked at her and left, not replying. I was bored to say the least and dammit, Skylar wouldn't entertain me.

"Mom! I want something to eat!" I yelled through the house. I stood quietly, slightly angered at the silent reply. "Mom!" I walked into the kitchen, expecting to see her standing in front of the fridge or something with earbuds in. Probably doing whatever it is she called dancing. 

She wasn't there. In fact, she wasn't anywhere near the kitchen. I looked around for some food. Finding none of it around me, I roughly tugged on the fridge door and looked inside. Right in front of me, an envelope with my name on it leaned against the milk. 

"Huh?" I picked it up and opened it. Inside was two twenty dollar bills and a piece of paper.

-Gone out for the night. Behave. Love mom & dad-

Oh well, looked like I was ordering pizza.

I began walking back to my room, tucking the money in my pocket. I had left the note and the envelope in the fridge for no reason at all. Serves the women right for leaving me without food.

"Hey, so mom went out. Wanna order a p-" I opened the door and stopped, staring right in front of me. Skylar was dressed in only a bra and underwear, red bra and very revealing underwear, searching in her bottom drawer. 

She stood up straight and glared at me as she threw a v-neck over her nearly naked body. 

"There's this lovely invention called knocking, dumbass. I think you should take lessons." I snapped out of my shock and smirked, walking over towards her seductively.