I Was Saved... by the Jerkface

Broken Toes and Not Enough Sleep

That night, at about eleven o'clock, I was lying in bed, still awake after about an hour of trying to fall asleep. My brain just would not shut up!

Yes, I was thinking about the kiss. Big surprise, I know.

The idea that I'd actually kissed my best friend kept swirling around my head, and it wouldn't go away. Why had I done it? Technically, Blake had done it, but I'd instantly given in and kissed him right back, so I was equally at fault.

There were obviously some signals from him that I'd missed, otherwise the kiss wouldn't have shocked me so. Why, up until now of course, did I not think of him as boyfriend material? I hadn't even considered it.

Maybe it was the fact that he always seemed so... able to get a girlfriend. He was so confident about everything he did, and I had just assumed that meant he was a player as well. He certainly looked like one. Also, I'd seen many girls throw themselves at him, only to get rejected.

I stopped at that thought. He'd rejected them. Was it because of me? I was around him all the time, and maybe he thought I'd get mad if he started hanging out with them instead.

Then, I thought there might be another reason, but I didn't want to get my hopes up. Maybe he rejected them all because he was interested in me?

I swiftly emptied my head of such crazy thoughts, but I still couldn't fall asleep. Every few minutes, when I finally got some piece and quiet from the random babble of my mind, his face would pop up behind my eyelids.

I rolled over underneath the blankets for the thousandth time, sighing and opening my eyes in the pitch blackness. I was never going to fall asleep at this rate.

I wonder if Blake's asleep?, I wondered to myself. No! Stop thinking about him!

I bit my lip, hard, to be able to concentrate on something else other than Blake. After all, I had been thinking about him nonstop since the kiss, and that was hours ago.

After the... incident... we had simply let go of each other and not said a word. I'll admit, it was pretty awkward for me, but I don't know how he felt about it. His comment about liking it blipped through my brain a few times, but I didn't say anything to him. I had then gone to my room to take a hot shower - I needed to relax after that - and then I watched TV in my room until I wanted to go to bed.

I heavily expelled a breath in the darkness of my room. I hadn't exactly given him the right impression with how I acted afterwards. Truth was, I liked it too. My stomach twisted into knots at the thought of possibly being more than a friend to Blake, but I did like kissing him.

I shouldn't have gone into hiding in my room afterwards. I should've been more social, instead of giving off the vibe that I didn't want to talk to him.

I sighed once more, pulling off the covers and bracing myself for what I knew I had to do. I shivered at the sudden coldness of my room, bringing my arms up to hug myself as I trudged barefoot into the hallway of the dark apartment. The window curtains in the main room hadn't been drawn, and of course New York City never slept, so the lights of the city filtered into the room, making it bearable to navigate in the dark.

It was a different story in Blake's room, which didn't have any windows or an alarm clock, so I literally couldn't see an inch in front of my own face.

"Crap," I whispered, lingering in the doorway, unsure as to whether I wanted to wake him by flipping on the lights.

I decided to chance it and left the door open so that it wouldn't be completely impossible to see in there. I crept on my tip toes to where I thought Blake's bed was, my hands out in front of me just incase.