Dementophobia • tyler joseph •

blurryface // entry

The gif above is what Tanner looks like.

***

June 14th, 2013

School here was utterly terrifying and I was just so nervous that I didn't know what to do.

Eventually I ended up having a mental breakdown of you would call it that. The teacher says I started shaking and rocking back and forth, mumbling to myself. I honestly don't remember doing anything of that nature, but everyone believes the teacher, right?

The next thing I know I was in Mr. Baker's office being told that I was going to be taught separately from the other students because I couldn't handle the environment and I was a distraction to everyone else.

Well, I apologize for my panic attacks that were caused by my body and not by my own will. I did not want to have a full blown breakdown, but I did, now everyone here was going to remember me for that.

Since this was a special case, I was allowed to call two people instead of one. I was forced to call my mother first and tell her what happened. That was Mr. Baker's idea, but if it was up to me, I would never speak to my mother again. She was the reason I was in this place. She was the one that put me in here and I don't think I can forgive her for that.

Our conversation was thankfully very short because she wanted to talk to Mr. Baker more than she did her own daughter. My feelings weren't hurt or anything. That was just typical behavior for my mother.

The second call I placed was to my next door neighbor, Tanner. He and I were really close because he was my brother's best friend and he's lived next door to us for years. When I was twelve, he was my first kiss. Don't tell my family though. That's the only secret that I have kept hidden because to me, it was magical and private moment that should only be discussed between Tanner and I.

I will not discuss any details of that day either, but anyway, Tanner was so glad to hear from me and I was surprised he answered his phone because he should be in the middle of school. He informed me though that his mother took him out because of a doctor's appointment and in the moment, I was truthfully grateful towards Mrs. Elwood.

Tanner helped me calm down. He somehow always knew what to say to make me feel better no matter what the situation was. He made me laugh without even trying.

"You can get through this," he told me. "You are a strong girl, Courtney, and I know you will fight to get out of there."

He was right.

I was fighting to get out of here.

And I was drowning in the process.

Courtney Akehurst, entry number three of Blurryface.
Written on June 14th, 2013 at 3:23 pm in pen.