Dementophobia • tyler joseph •

nineteen // whatever it takes

--Courtney's P.O.V--

I truthfully felt like I was going to crap my pants when I stepped off the stage.  My whole body was shaking uncontrollably and I felt like I was going to be sick.

"You did amazing!" Josh cheered, picking me up and spinning me around in a circle. "The crowd loved you!"

"Josh," I responded. "Please put me down. I feel like I'm going to be sick."

Josh automatically stopped, sitting me back down on my feet. "If you're going to be sick, please don't puke on me."

"No promises," I muttered, leaning against his shoulder.

He looked at me, concern all over his face. "Courtney, you should sit down." He lead me towards a open seat next to Mark before handing me a bottle of water.

"Don't worry, Courtney," Mark assured me. "Everybody feels like this after their first performance. It goes away over time." He smiled at Josh. "I remember the first time you performed with Tyler. You vomited afterwards."

"Hey, I was nervous!" Josh retorted.

He turned his attention back to me, a small smile on his face. "Tyler's terrified each and every performance. It honestly never went away for him and he's especially afraid for this performance." 

I gave him a curious look. "Why is he especially nervous about this performance?'

Josh's face began to turn red and Mark fell silent. "Um, it's Washington D.C. Tyler is always nervous about playing here for some reason. I really don't know why."

I opened my mouth to say something in response, but Josh interrupted me. "You look much better, Courtney. The color came back to your face."

I honestly didn't know what to think. Josh and Mark obviously knew something that I didn't about Tyler. This was the first stop on the tour and I already felt like I shouldn't really be here. Tyler made it clear that we were done with each other, Jenna hated me for some reason unknown to me, and why exactly did Tyler decided to take me on tour? It really wasn't that hard to get a semi-famous band or a new band that at least had their own songs. Why did he pick me?

If he wanted to rekindle our friendship, all he had to do was start talking to me at the music classes in a civil way. He didn't have to go all out and invite me on tour when he knew that I was just getting used to being at home. 

I couldn't complain though. Touring around and performing music was my dream and Tyler was giving me a chance to live it. I wouldn't be able to thank him enough.

"I feel better," I commented. "Much better." My hands had stopped shaking and I no longer felt like I was going to puke.

"Josh!" Tyler called. "We are about to go on stage!"

I hopped out of my chair and followed Josh over to where Tyler was standing.

"You did a beautiful job," Tyler told me, a small smile on his face. "I knew you would do fantastic."

"Thank you," I said, softly. "I'm really excited to see you guys perform."

Tyler turned bright red. "We aren't that great really. Don't get your expectations too high. I don't want you to be disappointed."

I smiled. "Believe me, I won't."

Tyler turned away from me while Josh pulled me into a hug before hurrying out on stage. The crowd screamed and I could see Tyler smile real big. Josh was grinning also, but it was a bit hard to see him from behind his drum set.