April 10th, 2013
The only good thing to me about being in a mental asylum was the fact that I no longer had to worry about school.
I was apparently wrong.
I would never think that a mental hospital actually had a certified school that I was required to attend until I got better or until I graduated. Hopefully, I didn't stay here until I graduated. Knowing my luck, I would.
But school started tomorrow for me. I was honestly terrified. I was terrified of my school back home, now they were expecting me to get adjusted to all new school when I just got placed into an insane asylum.
I don't think I could underline those words enough to make it actually go through my mind that I was not normal. If I was normal, I wouldn't be here. I would be home with my family and friends probably doing something completely idiotic. I don't know.
Mr. Baker tells me that I have to stay positive or I'll make it nowhere. He's probably right, but he certainty doesn't understand that positively was something that was very hard for me to accomplish. I felt sad and angry all the time for no real reason. I just did and to me, it was very difficult to find happiness in anything because of that.
Maybe I should make a list of things that make me happy or things that keep me going. I wonder if that would help me.
Now I was sounding like my own therapist which was quite scary. It definitely sounded like something Mr. Baker would say.
Well, here goes nothing, I guess.
Things that make me feel happy:
Hope
Tanner
Jerald
Eli
Nathan
Ginger
Pudding
Yogurt
The Vampire Diaries
Boy Meets World
Paramore
The Fray
Switchfoot
Lifehouse
Chocolate chip cookies
Owl City
Pizza
Shopping
Tobuscus
Video games
I might as well add things that I can't stand to this entry.
Things that make me angry no matter the circumstances:
Shay
My parents
Reading
Talking out my problems (HINT HINT MR. BAKER)
Disney movies, not counting the Lion King and Brother Bear
My hair
My eyes
My entire appearance
Life
My entire existence
And everything about this place makes me want to read my hair out by the roots.
Is that enough of my feelings for you to pry upon, Mr. Baker? Trust me, there's more where that came from.
Courtney Akehurst, entry number two of Blurryface.
Written on April 10th, 2011 at 2:17 pm in a black pen.
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Dementophobia • tyler joseph •
Fanfic"Courtney, what do you fear? Do you have any fears?" "Dementophobia." "What does that mean?" "The fear of going insane." {ONCE WAS #207 IN FANFICTION}
