I slip out of his arms, my breath quickening as I realize what I've done. I pull on a sweater and leggings and rush downstairs, happy to have the house to myself since my dad already left for work. I pour a cup of coffee and load it with cream and sugar, sipping it as I pace back and forth.
I just did it with Anthony.
He must think that we're back together now.
I don't know if I want to be back together with him.
I don't know what I want.
I want to be happy.
I want to be a healthy weight.
I want to live my life.
But is Anthony in my life? Is he included in the mental picture that is my future? Can things go back to the way they were before, or will I be his patient?
I tense up as Anthony wraps his arms around me from behind. I can tell by the amount of heat radiating off of him that he's still shirtless, but I can feel the rough material of his jeans against the backs of my leggings.
"Good morning, gorgeous."
His voice is rough and scratchy and sexy.
"Morning," I reply, still not facing him. With him touching me, I can't think. I can only summon the feeling of wanting to be away from him, away from the drug that he is to my mind.
"Ally, are we okay?" he asks, stepping back from me to give me room to look at him. I don't turn. I glare down at the counter, unsure of what to say. When I do turn though, its to see his face full of concern and my heart throbs to be near him.
"I'm sorry," I whimper, sinking to the floor and putting my head in my hands.
"Just tell me what to do. I want to fix us, or atleast to know if there's even a chance of fixing us. I just can't tell what you're thinking."
When I don't reply, he asks,
"Do you want me to go?"
I shake my head. I slowly stand up, smoothing my hair back. With nothing left to say, I step forward and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back, gripping me as if he's afraid that he'll never get me back once he's let go. After a while, he slides his hands down to my thighs and I let him lift me up, carrying me to the sofa where we curl up for the morning.
We don't talk, or watch tv, we just sit and listen to each other, tracing patterns over each others skin.
YOU ARE READING
Sinking Through the Cracks
RomanceAlly has never had friends. Ally has never had parents who really cared for her. Ally has never had a peaceful day at school. She is anorexic, though she has never had it treated. She has horrible times of depression though she always just puts...
