I walk home the next day and flop on the familiar sofa as soon as I get through the door. I fall asleep there and when I wake up it's almost 4 in the afternoon. When I check my phone it says that I have 17 missed texts from Anthony and 8 missed texts from Penelope. I go through Anthony's first.
Are you getting released? When will you be home?
The nurses said that they already released you. Did someone pick you up?
ALLY!!! WHY DO YOU HAVE A PHONE IF YOU DON'T USE IT!!!
and the rest are just my name shouted in caplocks over and over again. I call him,
"Hello?" he says on the other line.
"Hey. I got your texts. Want to come over?"
"Be right there." he finishes and hangs up. Then I call Penelope,
"Hey, it's Ally."
"Oh, hi."
"Want to come over?"
"Okay. Now?"
"Yeah. Where do you live?" I ask and she gives me the address. I text Anthony that I'm going to walk to Penelope's house, get her, and we would walk back together. He tries to convince me that I shouldn't be walking around after just getting released from the hospital but I shake off his worries. I change in to a pair of soft, clothe, black, legging skinny jean things, and a soft, crème colored sweater with a black dotted cheetah with a black tank top underneath. I pull on a pair of plain black boots and grab my skateboard from the garage. I get to her house within a matter of 20 minutes and knock on Penelope's door. She answers it after a few seconds, and we walk directly back to my house. When we get there, Anthony is already sitting on my doorstep. I let them both in and we fall on to the sofa. We get to talking and I really start to enjoy Penelope. We find out that we both like some of the same bands, cars, and cats. We spend the whole night talking and eventually we all fall asleep. I wake up rather late, wrapped in Anthony's arms. I look around for Penelope, but I don't see her. I try to pull away from Anthony, but he groans slightly and pulls my waist back in to his body. I push my hands in to his chest and moan, but he won't release me.
"Anthony..." I moan.
"Let go." I say. He still doesn't release me and I pull at his hands. He finally lets me go and I creep around the bottom floor of the house, looking for Penelope. I don't find her, but I find a note stuck to the coffee pot. I read it as I begin to brew a pot. It reads,
Sorry I left, but I had to get home or my parents might have gotten worried. I would love to hang out again sometime
-Penelope
Once the coffee's done, I pour it in to two mugs, dumping sugar and creamer in to one, nothing in to the other. I bring them back to the living room and set them on the table by the sofa. I snuggle back up with Anthony, sipping it. When he wakes up, I offer to fix his coffee with cream and sugar, but he insists that he can fix it himself. He pulls himself out of the mess of blankets and goes to the kitchen. He comes back a few minutes later with his coffee and we snuggle on the sofa in silence and I just feel so comfortable. I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday, my hair is probably a mess, and I can tell you that my makeup probably isn't much better. We spend all of Sunday together and when Monday rolls around, I can't stand it. I change in to a black and white striped, slouchy sweater, dark wash jeans, and the same boots, plus a black beanie. I go to the counsler's office first period and I immediately regret it. Mitchel smiles at me like he always does, and I sink in to that same chair. He starts asking me questions,
"Can you tell me some things you hate?" he asks.
"Geez. How much time ya got?" I begin, "Ummm.... Orange juice with pulp, commercials, lint, uneven eyeliner, stray hairs, flats, most birds, bugs that fly...." I say, preparing to continue, but he cuts me off,
"So, there are definatley quite a few things that you hate, but what are some things that you truly love?" he asks.
"I don't know... Warm blankets... Movies... Loose berets... Boots... Kittens... Music... Snakes..." and my voice trails off. I can't think of anything else. Mitchel seems to notice my silence and he looks up.
"That's it? You don't love anything else?" and I shake my head. I feel my cheeks grow red. I feel selfish and self centered. Should I love anything else? My cheeks burn even more and I cup my face in my hands, trying to cover it all, but my face is so fat that I can tell that I'm nowhere near covering it completely. I peek in between my fingers and see that the clock is displaying a time that allows me to leave for my second period class. I duck out of the room which had become uncomfortably cold. It's my lunch period and I'm headed for the cafeteria, about to do down a flight of stairs, when a foot comes out of nowhere and trips me. I fall down the stairs, my face burning, my back and sides feeling bruised. I groan when I reach the end of the stairs, lying on the cold floor. Everyone around me has stopped moving and when I sit up, they start laughing. I get a glimpse of the tripper and it's Logan. I pull myself to my feet, my back killing me. I try to smooth my hair and walk through the doors to the cafeteria smoothly, but I can tell that I look like an idiot. I skip the lunch line all together and sit at an empty table, holding my face in my hands. I would do anything to have a different life at this point. Anthony finds me after a few minutes. He tries to start a conversation with me, but he seems to be able to tell that something's wrong. He tries to get it out of me, but I won't tell him what Logan did. It would just get him upset and he might start a fight that doesn't need to be started. He gives me a peck on the cheek before going to his next period class when our lunch period is over. When I see him leave the room I stand, pulling my sleeves down past my fingertips. Now to get through the rest of the day.
YOU ARE READING
Sinking Through the Cracks
RomanceAlly has never had friends. Ally has never had parents who really cared for her. Ally has never had a peaceful day at school. She is anorexic, though she has never had it treated. She has horrible times of depression though she always just puts...
