Sinking Through the Cracks

My eyes open and when I look at the clock, it's nearly 1 am. I've broken my record for numbers of hours slept during the night, the new one being four hours. I'm always woken by horrible nightmares, or I just wake up for no apparent reason. I go downstairs, walk around, and then just go back up. I walk aimlessly around the house until it's 6 o'clock. When the time finally comes, I go back to my room to get ready. I pick out my outfit, lay it on the bed, and head to the shower. It takes me twenty minutes to wash, shave, and do everything I have to do. I get out and dry my horrible, blonde, knotted hair. I stand in the mirror, back in my room, and I examine myself. I pinch the areas of fat around my body, finding that there are too many sections to count. I pull on my clothes, a black tank top, a dark teal sweater that hangs off one shoulder, a pair of soft, thick, black leggings, and a pair of dense, black, laced combat boots. I leave my hair down because I'm to lazy to do anything with it. I've been blind this whole time, so I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose. It's Thursday morning and I could care less about wearing contacts today. When I look back at the clock it's already 7:30, giving me just enough time to pull on my coat and backpack and run out the door.

My name is Ally. I'm a sophomore in highschool. I am 15. I have no friends, no life, and nothing to look forward to everyday. The only person I can call a friend isn't actually a person. Her name is Nagini and she is my emerald green boa constrictor. I've had her since I was really little and we have really grown up together. Most people are always mean to me and the meanness starts really early this morning. I'm walking down the few roads that it takes to get to my school when someone shouts from their car window,

"FREAK!"

I put my head down as I take a deep breath and keep walking. I'm used to the torture. I finally get inside the building as it begins to snow. I make it through most of the morning before the next round of torture begins. I'm walking in to my class when someone sticks out their leg. I trip and fall to the ground, my books going everywhere. I reach for a particular book first, the book where I write stories and doodle, but before my hand can grasp the familiar spine, another one grabs it. It's Ruby, just another one of the people at this school who hates me. She flips through the pages and begins to read aloud one of my stories, and she just had to find one of the love stories. My cheeks, which are already pink, burn even harder, and to make matters worse, a boy leans over and grabs the book, but instead of reading it, he stands up, not looking at it. He hands it back to me and kneels down to help me with my books. I shuffle around, gathering the books together. I mumble him a message under my breathe,

"You don't want to do that," I begin, "You have a chance at having friends, at being popular. Don't waste it on me," and before he can respond, I stand up and walk to the back of the room where I take a seat. I watch as he walks back to his seat, but instead of sitting down, he picks up his stack of book and his backpack, and sits in the empty chair next to me. I try not to stare as he continues the drawing he was working on. When I glance at it, I see how amazingly talented he is with a pencil. I stare back at my own desk, feeling worthless because I don't have a really special talent. I see movement back at his desk and I allow myself to glance over at what's happening right next to me. Ruby is sitting on his desk when she starts talking,

"Dear, it seems like you've made a mistake, see, you don't want to sit next to her. She's a freak, a loser, and mainly, a whore. She's not worth sitting next to... I mean, look at her, she's fat, ugly, and mostly, a waste of space," and she says this right next to me. This kind of speech is something I've heard many times. I'm surprised to hear that boy talk in my defense.

"Just leave her alone. She a better person than any of you are, so just leave her be."

I'm stunned when he finishes talking. Did he really just say that? I feel my cheeks darkening with every passing second. I stand up and walk out of the still teacher-less classroom. I stand in the hallway and look around, feeling confused and jittery. This is all before a girl grabs my arm.

"Do you know where the science classroom for sophmores is? I'm REALLY late..." she says. Her hair goes down to about her lower back and it is a pleasant brown color near the roots. As it goes down however, it gets lighter and lighter until it reaches a chestnut sort of color. Anyway, it's really pretty. Her face is angular, but in a good way, with full, strong lips that are a cherry red, and electric blue eyes. Instead of saying anything, I point to the classroom down the hall and she smiles.

"Thanks. Can I sit with you at lunch? I'm new. BYE!!" and before I can respond, she runs down the hallway to her class. Suddenly the door to my classroom opens and I smack my hand to my chest, startled. That same boy sticks his head out and smiles when he sees me still standing there. He steps all the way out of the classroom and begins to say something, but instead he grabs my arm and pulls me into the classroom. He practically drags me back to my seat and when I face forward I see that our teacher has finally decided to show up. He introduces himself and we get on with class. I practically run down the hallway after class to avoid that boy. I don't know what kind of crazy pills he's on, but boy, he needs to share. I just hope that maybe lunch can be a little less eventful.