Sweet Surrender (Book 2)

Old Maid?

"Oh yes, the past can hurt. But you can either run from it, or learn from it."
-

Rafiki, from The Lion King

Stacey

"I'm kidding. I'm sorry. I was kidding Stace." Jasmine puts her cup down on the coffee table and grabs my cup from my trembling hand.

"Seriously Jasmine? Haha. Very funny. Thank you very much." I said sarcastically. Wiping my shirt uselessly.

"I didn't know that by just mentioning his name will affect you that much. I'm sorry, I was just testing you. I didn't mean to make a mess. And no, Tyler is not in town. I just totally made that up." Jasmine laughs hysterically. I apologize my best friend sometimes has a sick way of joking around. This is one of them.

"Well, be careful with what you wish for." I grunt as I lift myself up the couch and go to my room as I take my shirt off.

"But what if he is really back in town Stace?" Jasmine said as she follows me to my bedroom.

"Who cares anyway?" I roll my eyes while I put a fresh shirt on.

"I'm just curious. You didn't act quite well the first time you saw him way back in college when you came home from Canada." Jasmine crosses her legs while she sits on my bed.

"That was different. We were young. I was still in love with him back then, but now? I'm done. So done." I roll my eyes at her. I walk to my dresser to get a hair tie and arrange my hair to a bun.

"That's what you said that time." She eyes me carefully. I know what she wants to see in my face right now. But no, I just give her a poker face.

"I learned from my mistakes Jaz. As what they say, experience is the best teacher. Come to think of it, I've dated guys after Tyler." I sit next to her while I grab my laptop.

"You've dated guys. You had flings, but that's it. You never had a serious relationship for years now Stace. I'm worried. I don't want my best friend to end up as an old maid. No, thank you very much."

"I am not gonna die alone Jasmine, if that's what you meant. I am gonna meet the man of my dreams soon. You'll see." I wink at her and she just rolls her eyes on me. We both know I always win in this type of argument.

That's what I'm afraid of. What if I die alone? What if I never meet the man of my dreams? That's silly Stace, you already met him. You just let him slip out of your hands. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we talked at the post-grad party. Tony mentioned to me once that Tyler wanted to talk to me that night, but I disappeared.

Knowing Tyler, we won't stand a chance. I still believe that everything happens for a reason. But what is it? What's the reason why the universe allowed me to be hurt that much? Why can't I find myself a decent man? Is it me? I usually wonder if it's because of me.

I buried myself with work all these years. I forgot to live. I reject guys when they start to go serious with the relationship. I turn my back on them once I start to feel that I'm about to fall in love.

Work, Jonas. My friends. That's all I have in my life. I just realize that I also need love. I want to feel loved again, and to love unconditionally. But how? Who? Should I look for that person? Should I wait?

I kept myself busy for next few weeks, preparing everything for Lila's wedding. Lila and I are not that close. Jasmine and I are doing this for Nickolai. He has been a very good friend to us ever since college.