Sweet Surrender (Book 2)

Tests

  "Letting go doesn't mean that you don't care about someone anymore. It's just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself." ― ,Deborah Reber, Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul

Stacey

"Can you tell me where the hell you are!" Jasmine shouts on the other end of the line when I finally called her a month after my arrival in Canada.

"I'm still on earth Jaz. No need to panic." I laugh at her outrage. I know how furious she is right now. I left my old phone back in Singapore, somewhere along the road. I want to leave everything there. My old self. The weak and timid Stacey. 

"Ha ha! Very funny! I've been trying to contact Tyler but he's not talking. What happened to you guys? Stacey, what's happening?" Poor Jaz. I know I owe her an explanation. I shut myself out from everybody I know right after I left Singapore. Even Jonathan didn't know my departure. And of course, Tyler. He wouldn't care.

"Jaz, its obvious. we're over. For a month now." I whisper. The pain is still there. I still have nightmares of him leaving, only to realize that its not a nightmare. Its the reality.

"What! When? Why? Oh God. How did this happen? Tyler didn't say anything. He keeps on declining my calls! And you. Why cant I contact you anymore?"

"I lost my phone. This is a payphone I'm using."

"Are you purposely shutting everybody out Stace? Where are you? At least tell where you are. I'm worried sick about you."

"I'm fine. I work at a newspaper company. I'm doing good Jaz. I'm doing office work now. Funny right. I've been trying to avoid this line of work for so long, only to end up here." Chelsea helped me to stand on my feet again. I called her the day before my flight to Canada. She's always been good to me. She's doesn't know what happened to me. I just told her I needed a fresh start. A new career and she was more than happy to help. She has connections with Gazette. A newspaper company in Canada. I work with the designs and lay-out. It's been a month and I'm starting to love my job. My colleagues are very accommodating. 

"Oh God Stace. We missed you. Please call more often. I respect your decisions. Whatever it is. Always remember that Tony and I are always here. Okay?" her voice softens. I shut my eyes tightly to block the tears. Ive been doing pretty good with this. Stopping my heart from feeling the hurt. Sometimes I break down, but I guess that's normal. I'm just hoping to master this newly acquired talent the soonest.

"Me too. Oh shoot, I'm out of coins. I'll call you again sometime. Bye Jaz. Love you." I hang up the phone before Jaz can even argue. God I miss my best friend!

I hurry to my car. I'm gonna be late for my doctor's appointment. I'm having nausea episodes for the past weeks now. I'm assuming that its from all the stress that I've been through. I called her two days ago, but she advised me to come visit her clinic so she can do a thorough check-up. I guess I don't have a choice but to go.

"So, when was your last menstrual period?" Doctor Ramirez asked me the moment I settled in her clinic.

"I..I'm sorry?" What the hell? Why are we even talking about that?

"When was you last period? Can you still remember?" She looks at me intently. Assessing me.

"Uhmm.. I'm not sure. I'm on pills so, its kinda hard to tell. it's really irregular. But I think.. yeah.. I think two months ago. Not sure." I shake my head. I feel stupid in front of her. How can a woman miss her period? Is that even normal? Geez!

"Okay. Here's what were gonna do. We'll run laboratory tests. Everything just to make sure. Which also includes pregnancy test. Will you be okay with that?" She asks as she scribbles down on her notes. My eyes widen in horror. Is she saying that....

"No. I'm not pregnant. I can't be pregnant. I'm single. Alone. How can I..." She puts her hand up to stop me from babbling nonsense.

"Easy. Easy. I'm not assuming that you are pregnant. It would be safe to run a few tests on you so we will have a full understanding of whats causing your nausea episodes. If you're sure that you're not pregnant, then there's nothing for you to be afraid of. We need to make sure that nothing's in there before we an do x-rays. You following me?" She smiles sweetly at me while she points at my stomach. I absentmindedly cover it with both of my hands. 

"Okay. I understand. Sorry for that... I'm just... It didn't even cross my mind." I shake my head clearing i of negative thoughts. I have to be done with the tests today. Jonas, my dear brother is coming over for a week. I cant wait to see him.

I feel awkward with all the blood extracting and the smell of the laboratory. I'm not really a fan of seeing blood, especially if its from me. Ever since I was a kid, mom and dad would have a hard time bringing me to the doctors clinic even if its just for routine check-up. I'm such a coward when I see people in lab gowns. I get scared with how funny the doctors smile at you, asking you to be calm, that its not gonna hurt. But hell! It hurts like sh*t. Why do they have to lie? Of course they're not lying. It's just me over reacting. 

"Okay. The tests results will be ready by tomorrow. You can drop by the clinic same time so I can go through with the results with you." Dr. Ramirez smiles at me and shakes my hand.

"Sure doc. Thanks for your time."

"Anytime sweetheart. Make sure to get enough rest, fluids. Lots of fluids." 

"Thanks." I left the clinic after exactly an hour. Everything will just be alright. This is just stress-induced health problems. No big deal. I have been through a lot these past month, I'm pretty sure it contributes to the issues with my health. I have trouble sleeping, especially with the nightmares. I eat lesser than usual. I still exercise, but not as religiously as I was before the Tyler-drama incident. I guess I have to take good care of myself. I don't have anyone to rely upon, only me. No one else.