DISCLAIMER:
Contains self harm
Harry’s POV:
I woke up, my head pounding. I groaned and rolled over, nearly falling out of the bunk. I pulled back the curtain and cringed at the light.
“Look who’s awake,” Zayn said from his bunk. I sat up and rubbed my eyes with the palms of my hands.
“What time is it?”
“Past noon,” Zayn said, “You probably shouldn’t have gone out last night.” I squinted and furrowed my eyebrows.
“Why?” I asked, “What happened?” Last night was all a blur and I couldn’t remember a thing.
“Well,” he said, leaning up on his arm, “You got hammered.”
“That’d explain the hangover,” I muttered. Zayn pursed his lips.
“You may have also ruined your relationship with Holly.” I looked up at him.
“What?” I asked, “What did I do?” Zayn reached to the floor and grabbed his laptop. He opened it and typed a few things before turning the screen to me. My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw the picture. I put my head in my hands and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Please tell me that’s photoshopped,” I said, dreading Zayn’s answer. He shook his head.
“It’s not,” he said, “I’m sorry Harry, but you really fucked up.” I groaned. Fuck.
“Do you think Holly’s seen?”
My phone rang loudly, causing my headache to intensify. I winced and reached over to answer it.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Harry…” Valerie said, her voice strained from trying to stay calm, “What the fuck did you do?”
“Why?” I asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. Zayn listened in.
“Holly’s locked herself in the bathroom,” Valerie said, “Harry, what did you do?”
“You haven’t been on twitter have you?” I asked, avoiding her question again. Valerie sighed.
“No,” she said, “Now answer my question.” I licked my lips.
“I made a mistake,” I said.
“Elaborate.”
“I was drunk,” I said, “I don’t know exactly what happened.” There was silence on the other end of the line.
“Oh Harry…” Valerie said, realizing what happened, “You didn’t…”
“I fucked up,” I groaned, “I fucked up so bad.”
“Yeah,” she said, bitter now, “Yeah, you did. What the fuck Harry?! What were you thinking?!”
“I WASN’T!” I yelled, wincing as my head pounded more, “I OBVIOUSLY WASN’T THINKING VALERIE!
“You better hope for your sake that she doesn’t relapse,” Valerie said, “Because she’s not in a good state of mind right now. Who knows what she’ll do.”
I fell silent. Holly hadn’t cut for five months now, but she was struggling with the urges. She told me herself and called me whenever she had one.
“You’re going to have to find a way to make this right Harry,” Valerie said, “Because I think everyone will agree with me when I say that you’re on your own here.” I heard yelling in the background and a scream, “Fuck…” Valerie muttered before hanging up.
I took the phone away from my ear and hung up, confused as to what just happened.
Holly’s POV:
*A few minutes earlier*
He cheated on me…
He kissed another girl…
He doesn’t love me. He lied…
Everything that he’s said, everything he said I was, it was all a game to him…
These thoughts swam around in my head as I sat on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. My arms hugged my knees to my chest and I cried. The others knocked on the door, trying to get me to unlock it, but I wasn’t going to, I didn’t want to.
You’re worthless, the voice thought, He never loved you. No one ever will. Your parents left you. Your aunt and uncle beat you. Your brother abandoned you. And now your boyfriend has cheated on you. Do you need any more evidence?
I glanced up at the sink, where a razor hung off the edge.
Just do it, the voice said, No one will care. Just end it.
I stood up shakily and grabbed the razor. I pulled the blade out and sat back down on the floor.
Do it, the voice taunted, Just be done with it. There’s no reason not to.
I pulled up my sleeve and put the blade against my skin. Tears welled up at the thought of doing this again.
He won’t care. He never did.
I drew the sharp edge across my skin and blood seeped out of the cut. I did it again, deeper this time. The pain... it felt good, like I deserved it, even though I didn’t know why I did. I did it again…
And again…
And again…
And again, deeper with each cut, the blood had started to drip down the sides of my wrist and onto my jeans. I was feeling light headed and woozy. I wanted to fall asleep, just shut my eyes and drift away. But I knew what was happening and I dropped the blade.
I didn’t want this.
No.
I don’t want this.
No.
I was weak, incredibly weak, as I crawled over to the towel that had been left on the floor. I reached for it, but lost the strength to hold myself up as I collapsed on the floor, drifting into darkness.
A.N.:
Hi...
Don't kill me...
Please...
Mercy?
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